Time Capsule

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

2011-02-24T11:22:00.022-05:00

I recently read this book by Amy Chua, a Chinese-American woman who teaches law at Yale University. The book is a memoir about the parenting methods she has used in raising her two daughters Lulu and Sophia, now approximately 15 and 18 years old.

Chua was raised as a first-generation American by highly successful Chinese parents who expected great things of her and her 3 sisters. Chua "defied" her father by applying to and attending Harvard University instead of going to Berkeley, the school he had chosen for her, at which he is a highly-regarded professor of electrical engineering.

Chua met and married Jed Rubenfeld, an author who has written several books and is also currently a professor at Yale Law. When Chua and Rubenfeld had their children, they decided to parent the girls the "Chinese way" by Chua and raise them to be Jewish by Rubenfeld.

The book tackles the topic of strict "Chinese" parenting versus relaxed "Western" parenting. Chua demanded that her children achieve straight A's (an A- was unacceptable), play either classical violin or classical piano, and generally achieve higher success than other children their age. She did not allow her daughters to attend sleepovers, join any "unnecessary" extracurriculars that might have distracted them from their music or schoolwork, or to pursue other hobbies for the same reason. She insisted they practice their music at least 3 hours a day (even on holidays abroad) and to study just as hard for school.

Here is a list of things Sophia and Lulu were NOT allowed to do (quoted directly from the book):

attend a sleepover
have a playdate
be in a school play
complain about not being in a school play
watch TV or play computer games
choose their own extracurricular activities
get any grade less than an A
not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
play any instrument other than the piano or violin
not play the piano or violin.

Chua shares many anecdotes in which she shouts at her daughters and pushes them so hard they are driven to tears. She demands perfect work from them and pronounces anything she considers less than perfect to be worthless. In one story she angrily refuses to accept homemade birthday cards from her daughters because they "look as though they were hastily made in 30 seconds and could be way better if more of an effort had been made". (Paraphrased by me.)

Though it is clear that Chua may have been overly harsh with her daughters, they have both become highly successful. Sophia made her piano debut at Carnegie Hall at age 14. Lulu has similarly stunned international audiences with her mastery of the violin. On top of that, both girls have maintained straight A's in every class at school every year.

As the story progresses, Chua describes how her classic first-born Sophia seemed to thrive under her strict method of parenting. Lulu, however, ended up rebelling and angrily fighting her mother. We discover that she now no longer pursues the violin to the same degree and instead has turned her focus to other things, like tennis.

Towards the end of the book, Chua seems to gradually change her mind about "Chinese" parenting as Lulu stubbornly resists her demands and all hell breaks loose within the family. Chua finally comes to the conclusion that each child is different and requires a custom approach in order to reach the best of their ability. As she reaches this realization her relationship with Lulu does a 180 and the dynamic within the family dramatically improves.

Reading the book, I surprisingly felt conflicted in how I felt about Chua. I fully expected to hate her for being so "mean" to her kids. Plenty of the situations Chua shared made me uncomfortable and even angry; I found myself mentally yelling at her for some of the choices she made, and I even felt personally affronted at times. Ultimately though, oddly enough, I began to realize that I might just admire Chua after all.

Here's why. I have always felt that a gentle approach is crucial in raising a confident, secure child. I strongly disagree with those who spank their children and I have shameful childhood memories of being treated badly by various people of authority in my life, ie: teachers or church leaders. (Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not talking about you.) My plan has always been to treat my children with respect and to allow them to explore their own interests on their own terms. I've always felt that it's impossible for a person to tap into any talent or creativity they have unless that person is deeply self-motivated.

As I thought harder about the book, however, I began to reflect upon my own life. From the time I was a very little girl I was passionate about ballet. I begged my mother to let me take lessons when I was 5 years old. I started lessons just before I turned 6, and I stayed in lessons for several years. As I got a bit older, I began to lose some interest in ballet. It wasn't "cool" at the time the way it seems to be now. I had classmates and friends who made fun of me for liking ballet. I began to feel bored by it and resentful that it took up a lot of my time. I fantasized about not having to do anything or go anywhere on the nights I had class. I expressed this to my mom and at first she was hesitant about letting me quit. She insisted, "You'll regret it when you're older." I told her I didn't care, that it was my life, that I preferred to quit. Eventually I wore her down and she let me stop going.

Many years went by and I tried a variety of other things: gymnastics, Irish dance, tennis, flute, clarinet and basketball. I quickly lost interest in each of those things as I didn't have any real passion for them. During all of those years, I felt a nagging ache of regret for giving up ballet. It was definitely a pain to have to take classes, or to have to be disciplined about it, but I began to suspect that it just may have been worth it had I stuck with it.

Eventually I started taking ballet again, but by this time it was too late to really be invested in it. I was too old to do anything real with dance and though I enjoyed being in that world again, realistically I knew it was just something to do. At this point I felt deep regret at not sticking with ballet. I even felt annoyed that my parents weren't tougher with me even though I was the one begging to quit at the time.

My parents were great to me when I was young; they absolutely encouraged me to pursue my dreams and they made me feel that I could accomplish anything I wanted to. The problem was, they didn't get really tough with me. They didn't push me to see the importance of sticking with something that could pay off later in life. They were too easy on me, and because of that I ended up quitting something I could have been successful at! While reading Chua's memoir I began to realize that maybe I needed someone to force me into something I didn't care much about at the time. I needed strict discipline and someone to call me on my laziness.

As a result, I think I've changed my mind (somewhat) about parenting. Obviously each child needs a custom approach according to their unique personality, but honestly? Kids don't know what's important in life when they're 10 years old. Kids don't understand that persisting with ballet, violin, tennis, whatever, can open doors later on and shape them into incredibly accomplished people. Sometimes kids need to be pushed, and pushed hard!

I don't want to be harsh with my children, but I want them to come to a full realization of their potential. Unfortunately this means being relentless with them at times. Life isn't easy, and being accomplished at something doesn't just happen on its own. This is an opinion Chua maintains throughout her entire book: being forceful with your children and pushing them hard shows them you strongly believe in their capabilities. Not accepting anything less than their best communicates that you believe your child is brilliant. It says, "I know you are incredibly smart. I believe you are capable of being highly successful. I don't want you to get used to producing less than what you are potentially capable of producing." It takes a lot of parental pressure to get your child to keep going when boredom strikes and that child has no way of fully grasping what life will be like 10 years down the road.

I don't completely buy the tough love parenting style however, and evidently, neither does Chua by the end of her journey. Unfortunately she has received a lot of criticism from "Western" parents who have accused her of being an awful mother. What these critics fail to see is that Chua wrote her memoir (yes, MEMOIR, not "how-to manual") to communicate that being demanding of her children was crucial to their success, while at the same time listening to them and supporting them in other ways is equally important. I believe Chua does regret some things she's put her daughters through, but she also stands by the value of her "Chinese" approach. I think I agree with her.

I hope Chua's critics look deeper into the book and read into the subtle wistfulness she reveals because she took the wrong approach with Lulu. In the end it is apparent that she still values strictness and placing high standards on children, but that flexibility is also important.

As well as being thought-provoking, the book is sharp, witty and pleasantly full of humour. Chua manages to poke fun at herself and be unapologetic about her choices at the same time. As much of a task-master as she is in the stories, she is actually pretty hilarious. I highly recommend this book!

2011-01-19T20:23:00.000-05:00

Busy...ish? I think?

2011-01-18T18:57:00.001-05:00

I'm beginning to understand moms who stay home all day and complain they never have enough time to do anything. And I only have one child! It's amazing how when I get up in the morning, every time I look at the clock several hours have flown by. Sylvan doesn't sleep very often during the day, and when he does he tends to take short cat-naps. It's incredibly hard to do simple things like laundry or cleaning up the kitchen, when 30 seconds into my task I hear a little voice screaming for food, a diaper change, wanting to be held.... who knows what!

I'm not complaining though, when my little guy cries I generally get a chance to watch something on Netflix or hang out in the living room with a snack while I care for him. Could be worse. :)

Sylvan is over a month old already... I realized that the other day. It's true - time does fly by so quickly it hardly seems possible. We've noticed he has started looking around a lot more... it is obvious he can see a bit further than before and he intently studies certain objects. He can follow an object with his eyes, and he is so alert when he's awake.

He has officially started smiling responsively, though not very often yet ... I will try uploading a video I took yesterday proving this! You'll also get to hear my RIDICULOUS (but funny) baby-talk voice. Maybe Sylvan cries and fusses a lot for a reason???

He has what seems to me like a very strong neck... lying on his tummy he can lift his head (quite aggressively) and hold it up for a few seconds before it bobs back down.

He seems big to me, but I'm not sure what he weighs now or where he's at on the scale of what's average for babies his age. It doesn't really matter to me though, as long as he's healthy and likes my kisses :)

Last week we had the opportunity to have my friend Claire over to take newborn photos of Sylvan. Claire is an amazing photographer and I was ecstatic with the results of the photo shoot. It made me realize how crappy my point and shoot camera is because Sylvan looks a lot different in my photos from her photos! It also helps that she is very talented... and takes photos for a living... and has an amazing camera... but Luke and I would like to invest in a much better camera than the cameras we've been using. What better reason to take photos than a brand new baby, and a cute one at that?

Anyway, I'll try uploading that video... and maybe a couple photos too.

Baby-Crying Survival 101

2011-01-11T16:56:00.008-05:00

When you're caring for a small baby who likes to cry a lot, you begin to find that you begin to try anything, EVERYTHING, to make this baby stop screaming. I have noticed that I've started doing strange things without even realizing it.

I talk a lot when it's just Sylvan and I in the house; I've found that the sound of people talking seems to calm him down a bit. I have conversations with him, with myself, with the TV, with things in the fridge, with clothing and with furniture. Anything to make soothing talking noise.

A lot of songs become lullabies. Traditional lullabies, definitely, but also any other song stuck in my head that could be modified slightly to sound like a lullaby. Songs I have sung to Sylvan lullaby-fashion include:

Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas (sung verrrrrrrry slowly and soothingly)

D'yer Mak'er - Led Zeppelin (sung very happily)
Bicycle Race - Queen
Summertime - Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong (this is the version I picture in my head)
Any Christmas carol

I've also learned that I am one of those mothers who uses sickly-sweet sentimental nicknames for her child. I have referred to Sylvan as "Honey", "Sweetie", "Precious", "Teensy Baby", "Schnookums", and list goes on.

On an even stranger note Luke and I have come up with some pretty random made-up nicknames for our little guy. I'm not entirely sure where a lot of the names have come from. Some of the more popular ones we've used are, "Mister Baby", "Bee", "Honey-Bee", "Poopy" (this is a new one I've started using. I should stop), and "Mister Fussy". Actually, any of the Mr. Men names have been used interchangeably depending on the situation.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, the crying increases to a fever-pitch. We usually end up prancing bouncily around the kitchen holding Sylvan up to our chests, cooing "Baby! Baaaaaby! Mister Baby!".

Yes, I have witnessed Luke prancing.

The prancing is sometimes necessary... helps get the burps up. Sylvan's burps that is.

Ahhh yes, how life with a baby has changed us!

Life as we know it ... now

2011-01-09T18:41:00.003-05:00

I realized a second ago how long it's been since I last blogged. Sylvan is now 3 1/2 weeks old, and I can't believe how quickly time is flying by! Actually, time has been going by slowly AND quickly, if that makes sense.

We've been having very VERY long nights. Sylvan seems to think he should be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from midnight until sometime around 4 am to 6 am, and fast asleep all day. This wouldn't be so hard to deal with except for the fact that he likes to scream his head off while he's awake. Not easy to deal with in the middle of the night. We've heard it said, "sleep when the baby sleeps!" but that is easier said than done when there are things to do during the day and it's bright outside. I am not a good nap person as I always feel like it's impossible to sleep during the day. I've been able to get a few naps in here and there so I don't feel too over-tired, but this has still been quite the ordeal. If Sylvan is colicky we're hoping he grows out of it. If he's not colicky, we're hoping we figure out why he likes to scream all night. Sigh!

Things have gotten a lot better for me since the beginning. At first I was really weak physically as I had lost so much blood. I looked pale all the time and felt shaky and light-headed just getting up from the couch. I have tons more energy now, and I feel a lot better too since my stitches have had a chance to heal. It's amazing how much difference feeling physically well can make on your general outlook.

We had a few feeding issues as well and I am now mostly bottle-feeding Sylvan with expressed breast milk. I had a really hard time accepting this but I'm thankful he is at least getting breast milk and not formula. I'm choosing to pick my battles... one of the things I'll have to get used to doing a lot more now that I'm a parent!

We have really enjoyed using cloth diapers and the diaper service has really made life a lot easier. I occasionally use disposable diapers when I have to go out during the day but we almost always use cloth. I can't imagine having to wash them myself though!

Now that Luke is back to work after taking several weeks off we are trying to get into a routine. We had my dad and his partner Val staying with us for a week over the holidays, so Sylvan wasn't born at the greatest time for a routine to be set, as fun as the holidays were! It feels a little like a let-down for me now that the holidays have come and gone and the party is over. But a routine will be good for us.

Speaking of 'let-down', breastfeeding has sure change my perspective on the lyrics of a few songs... I can't help but giggle now when I hear certain songs like "Pump it" by the Blackeyed Peas, for example... or "Beautiful Letdown" by Switchfoot. Heh heh heh.

Introducing Sylvan William!

2010-12-24T11:40:00.002-05:00

Well, as most of you know, our little Sylvan was born last week! He was born at 7:31 am on Thursday December 16 after 27 hours of labour. He weighed in at 8 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long. Or as Luke likes to say: Sylvan is 1'9" ... ha ha.

Here's the birth story (if you so dare to read it):

On December 14th, I had to go in to the hospital for some tests to be assessed as Sylvan was about a week overdue at that point. His heart rate was monitored and I had an ultrasound done. The ultrasound was fine, but the non-stress test to measure his heart rate showed the heart rate wasn't as consistent or strong as it should be. My midwife had an obstetrician assess me, and he suggested I be induced the next day. I really didn't want to be induced so I had a little cry-fest but then realized being induced would be better than having a C-section. We went home and got our hospital bags ready.

Early on December 15th I woke up feeling like I was having some mild contractions. I called the hospital to see what time I should come in to be induced and they said they were having a really busy day and they wouldn't be able to induce me that day (I was told this might happen). I had a feeling I was already in labour anyway so I was pretty excited to be told this and to be given the chance to have labour start on its own.

I had to go to the hospital again anyway that morning for another non-stress test, and while they were measuring Sylvan's heart rate they also hooked me up to a monitor to measure for contractions. I was having contractions about 7-10 minutes apart at that point and they were very mild.

I went home with instructions to rest and then to take a long walk to get labour pumping along.

When we got home I tried to lie down and rest but the contractions seemed to get a lot stronger fairly quickly. I came downstairs and Luke and I started timing them. Later that afternoon after my mom came over, my contractions were at 5 minutes apart for at least 1 minute in duration and we decided to call the midwife. She came over and we all hung out, keeping track of the contractions as I worked at coping through each one with the techniques I had learned in our prenatal classes. She checked my dilation and found I was dilated to 5 cm.

We kept hanging out. A few hours later my contractions were really strong and getting to feel very painful. It must have been around 11 pm by this point. I ended up throwing up because of the pain and my coping techniques were starting to feel less effective. The midwife checked my dilation and found that I was still dilated to 5 cm and that I hadn't progressed at all.

When she told me I hadn't progressed, my immediate reaction was "screw natural labour and a home birth, I want to go to the hospital!" ... I didn't feel disappointed by this decision and the midwife was in support of it as well.

We went to the hospital and got me checked in and situated in a labour room. The contractions were so intense I was starting to lose it as I didn't know what to do anymore to cope. I had to change into a gown and lie down on the hospital bed and that did not make matters any better as the only thing helping me by then seemed to be walking around to get through each contraction.

I was able to get a shot of morphine to help me relax between each contraction. It barely took the edge off the intensity of each contraction though I did feel a little more relaxed.

Finally the anesthetist was able to give me an epidural. At this point I didn't care that I hadn't originally wanted one when I had put together my birth plan. I felt panicked that my body wasn't progressing and the sharpness and relentlessness of each contraction was making me feel crazy! The epidural felt like heaven to me, and it wasn't as numbing in my legs as I expected it to be. I was able to relax and sleep for a few hours. Luke and my mom had to try and sleep in some very uncomfortable chairs during this time, so I commend them for being such troopers! I was also given some oxytocin to augment my labour and help me progress.

A few hours after my epidural the nurse checked me and I was STILL only dilated to 5 cm. At that point I started feeling panicked again because I was starting to feel some pain during the contractions. I told the nurse this and she checked the epidural and told me it was still working. I tried to sleep again.

Another couple hours later I started feeling a lot of pressure low down. I told the nurse, she checked me, and found I was fully dilated! She told me I could start pushing. Luke woke up to see they already had me pushing and hadn't let him know! He got up too quickly and almost passed out.

This part gets a little nasty, so if you get grossed out easily you can stop reading :)

As I started pushing, I started feeling intense, sharp pain on one side of my abdomen. The nurse again checked my epidural and found it was still working. Annnnnd then I started hemorrhaging... and to make a long story short, the OB came in, found the Sylvan's head was cranked to the side, thus causing me to tear and bleed and feel pain in that one spot. This was why my labour hadn't progressed well earlier.

The OB discussed with me the possibility of turning Sylvan's head with forceps. I wasn't feeling too excited about that because I heard forceps usually cause a lot more tearing, but at this point I sort of just wanted Sylvan out of there in with us in the real world... and for the pain to stop! The OB ended up just turning Sylvan's head manually, and in a few short pushes, out popped Sylvan! It happened a lot sooner than I expected it would once I started pushing.

It was all very emotional and wonderful when he was born. He scored a 9/10 on the apgar, because his hands and feet were a little blue... but he was breathing well and doing great otherwise. It was great to have my mom there too and she was the first family member to see Sylvan which was special for her.

We were able to discharge from the hospital later that same day. Since I had lost quite a bit of blood I was feeling really weak and shaky and I was white a sheet. Also as you can imagine I wasn't feeling too comfortable :) But we were happy to be able to go home as we knew we would feel so much more relaxed at home.

Since then we've definitely had some challenges as far as feeding goes, but every day has been getting better and we are starting to get used to being parents. Crazy to think we have a son!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

2010-12-11T12:48:00.003-05:00

Thanks to my friend Kristi who posted this link on my Facebook wall... it really sums up how I'm feeling! And it's hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_I25dS-_W4

(Youtube wouldn't let me link it directly)

40 Weeks

2010-12-07T20:14:00.002-05:00

No captions necessary really.

Last check-up... hopefully?

2010-12-06T12:13:00.006-05:00

I will officially be at 40 weeks gestation tomorrow... my baby, that is, not me... I was born over 27 years ago! Ha...... Ha ha!

(Don't worry, you're not the only one who just rolled your eyes... I did too.)

I saw my midwife today and she did the first internal exam I've had this pregnancy. Apparently I'm dilated to 1 cm only, which doesn't seem like much but she said how much I've dilated to date doesn't necessarily indicate how soon I'll go into labour. It "could" still happen at any time. She did book an ultrasound for next week just in case I start to go overdue, in which case they will check to see if the placenta is still healthy and do a non-stress test to see how my lil' guy is holding up in there. I'm hoping I won't have to go to that appointment, but if I don't end up going into labour between now and then I may as well just enjoy this time Luke and I have together alone before our lives change forever!

If I go overdue beyond a week and a half they start to look into potentially getting me set up for a medical induction at the hospital. I would REALLY like to avoid this, as I feel that one intervention like that will lead to another, and I don't want to end up doing the whole epidural/pain medication thing. I know it won't be the end of the world if I have to, but I would just like to avoid that scenario if possible.

PS - how come nobody told me the internal exam FRIGGING KILLS LIKE THE DICKENS? This may be an overshare but I was NOT anticipating how freaking uncomfortable it would be! Holy moly! I was sort of wanting a stretch and sweep but now I'm glad she didn't do it, because, GEEZ, I am still hurting from the simple internal exam alone.

I might need a little wine when labour gets going... yes, that sounds divine to me!

A little Before and After

2010-12-01T13:47:00.005-05:00

Amazing what a big difference a year and a bit can make....

August 1, 2009

December 1, 2010 (at 39 Weeks)

While I'm posting pictures, I may as well make this a photo post!

Luke and I at work making gingerbread men a few days ago (not gluten free... sorry Mandie... but you'll notice we wore the aprons you made??!)

I was delighted to get a package in the mail today from my Aunt Sandra and Uncle Al in Vancouver ... they sent some adorable onesies, a hat with ears (how did you know I can't resist any hats with ears??) and a Taggies book. I was particularly excited about the Taggies book because I had just heard of them recently and actually went in search of one at Chapter's a couple weeks ago. I didn't look hard enough to find one but I'm told they are for sale there.

Taggies books are made with the idea that babies tend to love the tags on toys and books more than the items themselves, so each page of the cloth book has little tags sewn on for baby to chew while "reading"... how cute is that?

Thanks Robertsons!

Here is a glimpse of ______'s completed nursery. It's hard to get a full shot of the whole room but this is the best I could do. Everything is set and now we're just waiting for baby to arrive :)

Christmas... and Ina May - My freakin' Hero

2010-11-29T11:34:00.005-05:00

I had a dream a couple nights ago that one of my blog readers confronted me, telling me I update way too often, and that my entries are way too long! So I've been feeling a little self-conscious about posting as much as I have... therefore, I took a break for a few days.

When it comes to blogging, what can I say? When I'm home all day there's not much else to do! I get excited to share things! :)

Lately I've also been taking a break from thinking too much about the baby getting here. I found I was stressing myself out a little by constantly thinking about what it will be like when we bring the baby home and what will be stressful and the potential problems that might come up.

Instead, I've been getting into the Christmas spirit - listening non-stop to one of the classic Christmas channels on iTunes, very festive. Luke and I made gingerbread men the other night, and I've been eating a LOT of clementines and candy canes! I wanted to get a tree this past weekend but Luke thinks it'll dry out before Christmas gets here, so I think we'll go get our tree this coming weekend. We switched our fall wreath on our front door to our cranberry red Christmas wreath, and we strung garland around the banister going up the stairs. I love how just a few decorations can change how the house feels. Our next order of business is to buy some poinsettias for the coffee table and dining room table. Exciting!

I haven't been shutting the idea of childbirth out completely though. I've been reading the incredible book "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin whenever I sit down to relax (which is ... pretty much constantly).

My friend Claire recommended it to me when we got together a few weeks ago and I was expressing my fears about labour/birth to her (she has a background in midwifery). She did warn me that it is written by a midwife who worked (and still works) on a hippie commune called "The Farm" in Tennessee, so the birth stories in the book are a little far out, but as I got into reading the various stories I felt myself begin to calm down and feel actual peace about labour.

All the women who give birth in the stories have natural, drug-free home births, and the way they cope with the intensity of labour is to focus on how our bodies are designed for this process, and to view it as a positive experience, not a painful one. For example, they never say 'contractions'... they call them 'rushes'. They focus on seeing them as highly intense rushes of energy working to get your baby out. They teach you how to not think of labour as painful but as intense and extremely high-energy. They also recommend a lot of creative coping techniques to help you "stay on top of each rush" when it feels painful.

A lot of the women in the book talk about "getting high" during labour, meaning, having an incredible emotional rush of "consciousness" in such an intense situation... and they talk a lot about being "telepathic" with the midwives or their partners or whoever else is in the room, so if you're not used to that kind of talk it can be a little weird at first! For the most part I found it calming, and it was a huge relief to finally hear people talking about labour and delivery in a positive light.

Ina May Gaskin has been revolutionary in changing the North American perspective of child birth from being considered a medical emergency to something our bodies are designed to do with very few interventions required.

Check out the incredible statistics from The Farm's 2028 births: (From 1970-2000)

Pretty amazing considering a good portion of those births were breech babies, VBACs and babies with other complications usually requiring C-section almost everywhere else.

Not many other hospitals or birthing centres in North America will deliver statistics like this, and I'm perfectly content to go with the flow for my own labour and delivery at the hospital, but it is calming to know what our bodies are capable of. I'm told that when I'm in labour and reaching transition (the most intense part before you start pushing) I may feel like I won't be able to continue or even that I'm dying (!!!) ... so I'm hoping to remember some of the encouraging things I've read in Spiritual Midwifery to help carry me through!

If you're curious, here are some links to info about Ina May Gaskin and The Farm:

Wikipedia article about Ina May

The Farm Midwives

Ina May's official website

38 Weeks... Didn't know I could get any bigger!

2010-11-24T13:14:00.005-05:00

Apparently I can... and I will continue to! Unless baby __________ decides to just chill out in there and avoid putting on any more poundage between now and birth. Doubtful.

So I am 38 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. I am still enjoying the pregnancy and I'm not in a huge rush for _______ to get here. I'm sure I'll get more antsy as time goes by, but for now I'm content to relax and enjoy the anticipation of his birth. And all this time to myself, of course.

My Braxton-Hicks continue, especially later in the evening and all through the night. I'll wake up and attempt to roll over but it has gotten REALLY difficult to accomplish this! Poor Luke... he is such a light sleeper, and even with earplugs any slight movement will wake him up. Actually at this point "any slight movement" is more likely similar to a whale thrashing around for 5 minutes on our Queen-sized bed than anything else. So, every time I attempt to roll over, there he is, wide awake. Maybe this is a good time to campaign for a memory foam mattress...!? I think so!

Today one of my midwives came to my house for my weekly check-up. LOVE that aspect of midwifery care! Now she knows how to get to my house when the big day comes. I am so happy I chose a midwife simply for the reason that when my contractions start, rather than hem and haw and try and decide whether to go to the hospital or not, I just page her and she comes to my house to check me. Then she'll let me know whether it's time to go to the hospital or not. SO much less stress on us! I know it's hard for me to make decisions when I'm distracted or stressed out, so this decision being handed to someone else in the comfort of my own home is a huge weight off my shoulders.

According to my midwife, my baby's weight is likely around 8 lbs right now. He has been really consistent in terms of growth week to week. His heartbeat is steady and strong, and he is very active. At my last visit he was head down but face up, which isn't a problem necessarily, but it is more ideal if the baby is head down/face down. (See illustration)

Normal position - The baby rotates slightly and comes out face down:

Apparently when delivering the head comes out much more easily if the baby is facing down (facing my spine) because then the largest part of his head doesn't need to clear the birth canal.

As of today he has spun halfway around again so he is closer to being in the most ideal position, which is great (see the 2nd illustration above). He might keep spinning until I'm in active labour so his current position could change again but I'm not worried. Most babies get into the right position during active labour anyway and end up coming out face down.

Anyway, enough illustrations of naked women and talk of birth canals!

I've been loving blogging lately. It's so much easier to do when I have free time! Before when I was working it was more of a guilt thing - I felt obliged to blog in order to please people (or attempt to please them I guess), but now I feel like I'm blogging for me and I find JOY in it.

The only issue is that I have a whole list of other blogs I follow and I get really impatient when those people don't update as often as I do! As if other people are allowed to have more of a life than me....!!!??? Geez, people. You're not ALLOWED to be busy. You must keep up with me in my blogging frequency with equal zest. No excuses.

:)

A Lady of Leisure

2010-11-22T10:46:00.003-05:00

I am happy to report that it is Monday morning, and I am NOT hard at work ... I am at home enjoying christmas music and sipping coffee. Unless you consider that hard work...? It IS rather difficult... not knowing what to do today... sigh. :)

I DO know this won't last long. Our little guy will be here before I know it. I am enjoying the freedom while I can though! This morning I dropped Luke off at work (poor guy), got my free McDonald's coffee, bought a couple more diaper covers from a cute little store in Waterloo and now I'm at home planning out the rest of my day.

I suppose there are things that need to be done at some point... I could do a deep clean of both our bathrooms and throw in a load of laundry... hmmmm.... we'll see. Also I have some thank you cards to write. And christmas decorations to put up! I may get to all that later!

For now I'm having a great, relaxing morning. Aaaahhhhh.

Some fun stuff

2010-11-20T15:37:00.004-05:00

I would have to say the most fun (and unnecessary) shopping I've done for baby Allen has been... the accessories. My poor, poor child. He will be receiving many of them. Probably often, and for the rest of his life. Whether he wants 'em or not.

Check out the shoes and the wicked shades I'll be putting on him as soon as he's out of the womb:

Super cute Baby Raybans... I wouldn't have known they existed, but I work at an optometry clinic and there is a whole catelog of 'em. Best discovery ever! Can't wait to prop them on his face (they're a little big).

Looooove these shoes. Thanks Auntie Robyn and Uncle Greg!

Many more adorable shoes, most of them shower gifts. Thanks to Baby Allen's various aunties for knowing how much I love baby shoes!

Can't freakin' wait!!!

PS - I sure hope he's actually a boy and not a girl... because I have absolutely NOTHING girlie purchased.

It's finally here...

2010-11-19T09:20:00.002-05:00

... my last day of work! In a few short hours I will be embarking to work one last time before my maternity leave begins.

I thought I would feel more excited, but instead I've been more focused on the next stage of my life - giving birth to and then taking care of a baby! Go figure...?

Anyway, I'm definitely happy to be finished work as I've been feeling more uncomfortable as the days go by, but lately I've been working through a lot of fears about how much my life is about to change.

It really is pretty scary. Most of my pregnancy I've been far enough away from my due date that I've been free to just feel excitement about the baby coming our way. Now that my due date looms closer and closer reality is sinking in. The unknowns of labour and giving birth along with the upcoming lack of sleep and unknowns in caring for an infant have been on my mind.

I'm always giving advice to myself because I tend to overanalyse and overthink everything, and fortunately I seem to have a rational part of my brain that calms the other spazzy part down - and the advice I've been giving myself is:

1) Baby steps (thank you Bill Murray) - one day at a time, one contraction at a time, one feeding at a time, one diaper change at a time, one night at a time, one situation at a time.

2) The most important thing is to try and RELAX.

3) Ask for help when I need it.

4) Learn to let go - of the often insensitive unsolicited advice, of little mistakes I make or others make, of trying to be perfect.

Ahhhhhhhh... deep breath.

Preggers knows how to party

2010-11-13T14:06:00.001-05:00

2010-11-12T09:53:00.001-05:00

LOVE this picture. Want it for the baby's room. Not enough wall space left! :(

The preparations continue...

2010-11-11T18:22:00.007-05:00

After tomorrow I will have only ONE WEEK OF WORK TO GO! I am pretty darn thrilled about this. It's not that I feel awful being at work, but I am finding that my "patients patience" (ha!) wears thin very quickly, especially in the afternoons. I just don't have the mental energy to be perky and nice all day anymore.

I also feel pretty tired physically now at the end of a shift even if I've only worked for half a day. I work as a receptionist but I have to get up and walk around quite often, and lugging my body around has become more and more exhausting.

I will definitely miss my coworkers. It feels surreal that I'll be done so soon and I won't be with these people all day, every day anymore! I think I might feel a little lonely for awhile. But then when the baby comes I'm sure I won't bother to think about work anymore :)

Luke and I finished up some more baby shopping this past week. It was a relief to finally own a bed-side bassinet for the baby as he will be sleeping in our room for the first few months. We also bought a breast pump (TMI?!), a footstool for the nursing chair, a snowsuit to bring our little guy home in, a sweet baby wrap to carry him around in, a baby monitor and ..... CLOTH DIAPERS.

That brings me to my next subject... we have decided we will attempt cloth diapering. We had firmly decided we were going to use disposable diapers because we felt it would be challenging enough with a new baby at home to attempt to do something so time consuming. In our last prenatal class, our instructor went through all the diapering options, and we ended up learning a lot that we didn't know. We found out that it takes 300 years (I think? Or maybe 100? Anyway, it was a lot of years) for one disposable diaper to decompose, and that disposable diapers are full of chemicals less than healthy to be right next to your baby's delicate skin. The most compelling point (sadly) was how much money we'll end up saving if we go with cloth diapering. I don't have exact numbers right now but it was pretty eyebrow-raising, and Luke and I looked at each other in the middle of class and it sort of just seemed to click to us at the same time that we want to try this.

We have decided to go with a local diaper service, as even this is a cheaper option than buying disposable diapers all the time. We will be going with Bear Bottoms, and the cost is $20 a week. Every week they come pick up the bag of dirty diapers and drop off a fresh bag of clean ones. All you have to do is whip the dirty diaper off your baby and stick the diaper in the pail you rent when you sign up. The diapers go in a bag at the end of the week and all you do is stick it on your front porch for pickup - no yucky washing by hand required.

We have to buy our own diaper covers to use with the service's diapers, and we have chosen Thirsties:

How cute are they? Cloth diapering has come a long way from the bulky diapers my mom used! It also feels good to be doing something beneficial for the environment and for our baby.

Anyway, dinner is on and like the pregnant woman I am I NEED TO EAT.

Lest we forget

2010-11-11T09:23:00.005-05:00

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Taking Care of Baby

2010-11-05T22:07:00.007-04:00

I may have posted these awhile ago (can't remember) but Luke and I thought of them again just a few minutes ago and I HAD to post them again! Definitely some important tips on caring for your baby... I dare you to not laugh.

Somebody wants ouuuuut.....

2010-11-05T11:57:00.003-04:00

SURPRISED!

2010-10-31T13:44:00.005-04:00

I was very surprised yesterday when I came home from an innocent trip to the mall to find my friends had put together a surprise baby shower for me! I really had no idea at all this was in the works so it was a LOT of fun. I very smugly had decided recently I must be impossible to surprise because of how savvy I am but apparently I was wrong, which is fantastic! Luke played a big part in making sure I had no idea by letting me think going out for breakfast and then to the mall was my idea. I'm telling you, I have some good liars in my life! ;)

Here are a few photos from the event... all taken by Dorothea. Thanks Dorothea!

Jordan and Claire all set for the surprise...

The moment it hit me

Still laughing

Snacking and mingling

Party people

The lovely diaper cake

Marley and Mandie

Marie and Karis

Marley and her Mama

Marley and Hannah meeting

Me and Marley!

I have to thank Karis and Mary Anne for planning the party and making sure I had no idea it was going to happen! A lot of red herrings were thrown my way to distract me and they definitely worked. It was a lot of fun and I got (rather, my baby got) tons of cute stuff. He is one lucky baby to have so many wonderful aunties!

Going for a STROLL... an expensive one!

2010-10-29T18:12:00.007-04:00

Luke and I have discovered some funny things along the way in this journey we call BABY PREP. One thing we've found in particular is the intense status-symbol hierarchy involved in shopping for certain baby products.

The clothing category is a big one for sure, as there really is a HUGE range in price from one store to the next for baby clothes, and a lot of time the quality of the clothing reflects that. (But not always.) This category is more obvious because clothing is a pretty big status symbol no matter who you are or how old you happen to be.

There seems to be several other funny categories, but the biggest one (and most unexpected) we've encountered has got to be STROLLERS.

Strollers are a Big, Giant, Humongous deal. Before we found out we were having a baby I think it's safe to say that we assumed most strollers out there would be pretty good, and that it wouldn't matter too much in the end what we chose, as long as it wasn't falling apart.

We were WRONG! Everyone out there with a baby seems to know the fancy schmancy brands of strollers and the incredible range of options out there. Boy, if you can afford a really REALLY pricey stroller, you must be rich and important! Or something! It's almost on par with cars and the status you would get from buying a really good, expensive, luxury car. There is a HUGE range in price in strollers. It's unreal.

It's sad because now that we've done our research and purchased our stroller, I find I seem to be checking out strollers we see everywhere to see what name brand that particular mom happened to buy. I'm usually pretty impressed when I see an expensive brand, and I am disappointed to say I also feel a little snooty and unimpressed when I see a cheap-ass stroller being used.

Recently in our prenatal class the topic of strollers came up. One couple in particular launched into a monologue about how they had decided they were going to purchase a Bugaboo Frog stroller. This may sound funny to you if you haven't done any stroller research, but I happen to know this stroller is at the pricey end of things. Usually close to $1000, and that is not including extra things you would likely need to use with the stroller. You would definitely end up spending over a grand, sometimes quite a bit over a grand, in order to get the full deal with all the parts and all the accessories available. The couple spent time defending their choice of deciding on such an expensive stroller, and I know it is likely very good quality, but I really feel that STATUS was probably a big part in their decision making process, whether they realized it or not.

I'm not really sure what point I'm trying to make here, because we ended up buying a pretty expensive stroller. Well, maybe the more accurate term for it would be "middle to upper end of the road", and yes, I think we may have been sucked in a little bit. We do like the stroller though because of how light it is, and the cheaper quality strollers seem to be pretty huge and cumbersome. I didn't want to get stuck in the grocery store or someplace with a behemoth of a stroller, taking up way too much space and ticking people off. We definitely didn't splurge on a Bugaboo though.

This is the one we bought, the Quinny Buzz. It is very light, easy to maneouvre and easy to fold up & pack away. It has a cool feature when you unfold it - it somehow has a sort of hydraulic automatic air thing where it unfolds itself smoothly and impressively, leaving your hands free to care for your baby instead of fiddling with clasps and levers. All the better to impress all the other neighbourhood babies with, my dear!

This would be an example of a cheaper quality stroller. I think the downfall for most people is how bulky and cumbersome it would tend to be and that most of its parts are made of plastic. As a device in which to push your child around, however, it definitely gets the job done, and that's all some people care about! (Which is fair!) Plus it is HUNDREDS of dollars cheaper than a lot of other strollers out there.

Creme de la creme... the Bugaboo Frog. Nice design... and... I don't really know what else, I didn't spend any time researching it, as I knew we wouldn't spend over $1000 on our stroller!

PS - I really do need to point something out .... thanks to Luke's parents, Steve and Kathy, for our stroller! Yeah... nope, we definitely didn't purchase it ourselves - it was a wonderful gift from them. And we are very thankful for the gift because as I mentioned earlier, we really were unprepared in not knowing the crazy price of strollers in this day and age!

I'm sure I'll be back with more puzzled musings on the BABY PREP process as our due date draws near. No shortage of fun though, that's for sure!

Rockabye Baby and Braxton Hicks

2010-10-28T10:49:00.006-04:00

One of our goals in raising our son is that ... basically... we want him to rock out and be a cool baby, and then a cool little guy, and then a cool teen. And maybe even a cool adult later on. What better way to start him off early than nursery music that rocks? I mean REALLY rocks?

We first heard about this from our good friends Lux and Karis when they gave us an early baby gift several months ago of a CD called "Rockabye Baby". Basically it is a CD of Metallica cover songs recorded to sound like nursery music.

It's pretty hilarious... and very peaceful. We think our little guy will love it! We also loved it, and when we looked into it further we discovered there are many other CDs sold covering other bands, like AC/DC, Led Zeppelin, Radiohead, The Beatles, Bob Marley, Queen, Nirvana and Greenday, to name a few. I am particularly thrilled about the Led Zeppelin one and plan to buy the CD (orrrrrr download the songs for free) before our baby gets here.

Check it out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QCKVwjYdl70&feature=related

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PLyWDzU0ucs&feature=related

In other (mostly baby) news, I have been having a TON of Braxton Hicks contractions lately. According to Wikipedia, this is what Braxton Hicks are:

"Braxton Hicks contractions are a tightening of the uterine muscles for one to two minutes and are thought to be an aid to the body in its preparation for birth. Not all expectant mothers have these contractions. They are not thought to be part of the process of effacement of the cervix."

Basically BH contractions are "practice contractions" and apparently nothing at all like the intensity of real labour pains. Mine don't feel like just a tightening of the muscles, my whole belly feels achey and even crampy when they happen, and they tend to last longer than several minutes. It feels strange to have them as often as I do - and as of last week I've been getting them on and off all day for quite a chunk of time each time I feel one. If they don't have too much of a purpose that is okay with me because at least I know ahead of time where I will be feeling real labour contractions when they start in earnest. It is a little unnerving though! It reminds me there isn't much time now before __________ gets here. :)

Speaking of "not much time now", I was recently doing some grocery shopping in Zehr's, and as I was walking down one of the aisles a lady pushing a grocery cart stopped me. "Wow, not long now, eh?", she called out as I tried to scoot past. "Yep, not long now," I replied, hoping to make a quick getaway (I don't love chatting with strangers about how large I am). Not to be deterred, the lady loudly remarked to my rapidly receding back, "How overdue are you?" !!!!!!!!

Not knowing how to respond, feeling slightly embarrassed that I STILL HAVE MORE THAN A MONTH TO GO, I muttered "... yep... not long now..." and speedily walked away from the lady and around the corner to the next aisle, my face burning in shame.

OH STRANGERS! When will you learn that just because I am visibly pregnant it does not give you license to comment on my size or even the fact that I am pregnant? I don't know you.

I don't mind friendly chats with random strangers if the comments are benign and positive enough to be considered polite. I don't, however, wish to discuss how much weight I've gained, how big my baby is likely to be based on my size or whether or not I'm planning to breast-feed. I don't chat with strangers too often in normal circumstances... why would I start now just because I'm knocked up? ;)

Etsy... the best website of all time...

2010-10-24T16:07:00.004-04:00

.... and the most dangerous, according to Luke. Every time I browse this website for baby stuff I find many MANY great things to covet. Most are reasonably priced and everything is handmade and great quality, but I'm telling you, the money adds up!

Here are a few super cute things I've found that I covet:

Lovely nursing cover:

It couldn't be Luke's child without something to do with drums:

LOVE IT!!

Adorable bibs:

Stylin' diaper bag:

Too much great stuff! Seriously, there is so much more but blogger wouldn't let me post any more pictures with this post. Maybe that's a sign I should stop browsing...

Belly'd!

2010-10-21T10:21:00.005-04:00

So it turns out I am likely due December 1st after all, not, in fact, December 7th as the ultrasound seemed to show early on.

Luke and I have been going to prenatal classes here in Kitchener, and our incredible instructor informed the class that ultrasounds done to date a pregnancy have a margin of error of "2 weeks either side of the due date". Evidently not many people know this; WE certainly didn't. And this may be awkward, but we know precisely when we conceived, so only WE know for certain the most likely due date. Unless, SOMEHOW, some medical freak delay of conception occurred.

Let me just say we're pretty darn certain.

I think officially we'll just stick to our December 7th due date as our "official" due date, but now we're mentally prepared for this little bebe of ours to potentially make an earlier appearance. We're pretty flexible anyway so it shouldn't be a big deal.

In other news, my belly is getting gigantic! I have finally embraced this. After being told time and time again that I just simply MUST be due "any day now" by complete strangers all over town, I am realizing I think instead of wanting to punch everyone in the face, it's good to embrace a nice healthy belly. Big is beautiful... right? I'm beginning to think so!

Big ol' belly at 33+ weeks:

Yup, there's a baby in there!

I am so amused in this picture:

It's true: Baby Brain exists

2010-10-19T10:04:00.003-04:00

When I first found out I was pregnant I felt determined to avoid being defined by the big pregnancy stereotypes. I didn't want to gain a ton of fat, develop stretchmarks, spiral wildly out of control into the highs and lows of mood swings, and most of all... suffer from BABY BRAIN.

Baby brain is defined loosely as being forgetful, clumsy, absent-minded and just generally DITZY. See this article for more.

Unfortunately, it seems there really is little I can do about suffering from any of these conditions. I don't want to give you exact numbers, but let me just say that only slightly over one year ago I weighed QUITE a bit less, on the day Luke and I got married. I will say that I dieted maybe a tad too much and could probably have weighed more than I did, but to see the dramatic increase on the scale is quite honestly a little frightening.

Along with this I keep discovering stretchmarks in completely random spots I didn't expect to find stretchmarks. Ironically I have none on my belly because I've been so careful with oils and lotions to prevent them there. Sadly I didn't realize I would need to grease up my entire body in order to avoid randomly appearing marks!

Luckily I haven't been affected too badly in the mood-swing department. For those of you who know me well this may come as a surprise. :) It seems the hormonal onslaught that occurs in pregnancy may have actually evened me out! Who knew?

All this is to say, the one area I am noticing the BIGGEST difference in pregnancy is exactly what you know I'm going to say: Baby Brain. I've always felt a little clumsy for most of my life, but I'm telling you, there is nothing like clumsiness experienced during pregnancy. Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I've gotten into the habit of literally walking into things, because I forget I have a belly. People are usually around to witness this. Usually strangers. At first I got embarrassed but now I just mentally shrug it off and go on to the next thing. I can't seem to pick anything up without dropping it. Pens seem to fly out of my hands at work. It always looks like I'm throwing things at my coworkers. Usually more strangers are on hand to witness this.

In order to really define to you how bad my Baby Brain has become, you'll need to hear a few choice stories of really stupid things I've done lately. Honestly, this is a little embarrassing, but mostly hilarious. Every time I tell one of these stories I end up in hysterics and I think people aren't really sure how they're supposed to react.

1) A couple weeks ago I finished my half-day at work and decided to get some lunch from Wendy's, which is right next door to my office. My car was parked in our back parking lot, which is right next to the Wendy's drive-thru. It was not a busy time at Wendy's and no cars were in the drive-thru. I sat in my car trying to figure out which way I should drive in order to access the drive-thru, thinking I needed to enter from the front of the building. I drove all the way around the parking lot to access the drive-thru from the front parking lot. As I pulled in to make my order I realized that only seconds ago I was literally a stone's throw away from the order-taking area of the drive-thru BEHIND THE BUILDING. I HAD LITERALLY BEEN BESIDE THE ORDERING AREA WHILE SITTING IN MY CAR. I still haven't figured out why I thought I needed to go all the way around to the front?

2) Another day, I was in the same parking lot behind my work building. Because I work in a plaza the parking lot is pretty big and linked to a couple other parking lot areas. I drove through the parking lot aiming to leave at the front of the building, meaning I had to take a couple turns through the parking lot to avoid some cement curbs. I don't normally use my turning signal because the parking lot is often empty. This particular day as I was approaching a turn in the parking lot I noticed a squirrel sitting across the parking lot, watching me. Subconciously I said to myself, "Oh, I'd better signal... someone is watching." Yep. That someone was a SQUIRREL.

3) Two days I ago I went to the local drugstore to mail a package off to a friend. This drugstore has a Canada Post outlet at the back. As I picked out the envelope to send the package to my friend, I thought to myself - I'd better pick out a card or something to stick in the parcel with a little note. I headed to the card aisle and chose a card. I took it back to the postal area and quickly proceeded to write something in the card, stick it in the parcel and seal it all up to send. I paid for the parcel to be mailed and walked out the store, only realizing then that I just took the card without paying for it. I stole a card! I STOLE!!!

I hope no Rexall employees read my blog :S

Crazy dreamland

2010-10-16T14:22:00.005-04:00

Last night I had a series of stress dreams related to caring for an infant. I recently watched a documentary on dreams and apparently a practical function of dreams is to prepare you for possible disasters you are subconciously worried about and how to avoid them.

In my dream last night I had the baby very, very early... like at the stage I'm at now (almost 33 weeks). Somehow the baby popped out and was all of a sudden in my arms. Everyone was congratulating me, but I felt shocked and overwhelmed. I kept saying, "I don't even remember labour! I don't understand it! I thought it was supposed to be awful and painful!"

Then came the mad scramble to find diapers. Also to feed the baby. I kept focusing on one task realizing I had been neglecting another for too long. For example, the baby went without a diaper for several hours as I was trying to figure out breast feeding. :)

At one point I realized I needed baby wipes, but didn't have anyone to watch the baby. I said to myself, "I'll leave the house for 15 minutes and be right back with the wipes! The baby won't even realize I'm gone!" For some reason I figured if I left the baby on my bed it would be fine. (Yikes) I left and drove downtown, where apparently Kitchener now has a Canadian Tire on the main street. I quickly parallel parked and ran inside the store. The store was organized badly and stuff was all over the place, disorganized and completely mixed up. I decided since I was there already I should also buy a bunch of baby undershirts. I have no idea why I figured Canadian Tire had all this stuff but it made sense at the time. The whole time I was aware I needed to get back to the baby as quickly as possible. I searched and searched and couldn't find either of the items I needed. As I was deciding I needed to just give up already and get back to my baby, I realized I DID have wipes at home already and that I had completely forgotten about them! I ran outside and began searching for my car, but couldn't find it anywhere. I searched up and down a bunch of side-streets but just couldn't find it. I was in a mad panic at this point, knowing I had left the baby alone for far too long.

Somehow I got home, just before Luke got home (obviously I needed to hide it from him that I had left the baby alone by itself... I felt hugely relieved I beat him back to the house! Sneaky sneaky) ... only to find that somehow the baby had gotten down from the bed and rolled over to the stairs, and rolled ALL THE WAY DOWN THE STAIRS. I lunged down the stairs when I saw the little body lying at the very bottom. (I keep avoiding gender statements because in my dream the baby was neither a boy nor a girl. STRANGE.) It had some bruises on its face but otherwise looked happy to see me. I was horrified. I realized I had to tell Luke because he would wonder why there were bruises on the baby's face. All he said was, "well, we should get a baby gate for the stairs as soon as possible!"

So what did I learn from all this?

1) Never leave my baby unsupervised. As if I ever would!

2) Make sure to have essentials such as diapers, wipes and undershirts on hand BEFORE the baby is born.

3) BUY BABY GATES FOR ALL THE STAIRS.

4) Never try to do everything on my own - ask for help if I need it!

5) In preparing mentally for the baby, realize labour is just the beginning and not the end. Don't focus TOO much on labour between now and when the baby gets here because the real work starts when I bring my baby home.

When I woke up I said out loud, "baby, I'll never let you roll down the stairs!"

And I meant it. :)

No update is an update without pictures...

2010-10-14T20:31:00.002-04:00

How sweet. My hands made a heart!

Sorry. This is what I REALLY think of cheesy maternity pictures with hearts in them.

Here I am at 31 weeks... taken a week ago.

Bebe from the front. He really likes to lean into my right side, and my right ribs. Ouuuuch! You can probably see his little back/bum in my upper right belly region.

Baby, baby and more baby

2010-10-14T19:59:00.004-04:00

I haven't posted in awhile so I figured it must be time to dust this blog off and write something!

I'm well into my third trimester now; I'm at 32 weeks and a few days which brings the due date countdown to less than two months to go. The pregnancy has been a pretty easy one. I haven't had much to complain about, other than a bit of hip pain that lasted for a month or so but went away on its own, so that is pretty remarkable. The one thing I could do without is the massive weight gain but I suppose that a) it's normal in pregnancy, and b) any EXCESSIVE weight gain is all my fault so I have no one to blame but myself!

I had to be tested for gestational diabetes because I gained a lot of weight in a short period of time but my tests came back negative so everything is okay there. I attribute the weight gain to all the sugar I've been eating. And all the junk food. And regular food in large quantities. And candy. Apparently I need to be careful about sugar because the more sugar I eat the bigger my baby will be. The last thing I want to do is push out a giant Monster Baby. I'm trying to limit my sugar intake, which is very VERY difficult for me to do, as I'm sure you are well aware (if you know me). My excuse is that we just had thanksgiving and there was much pie to be consumed. It was basically my duty to consume pie and not hurt various family member's feelings. That is the only reason I ate so much pie. Anyway, the sugar party is over and I'm back to limiting my refined sugars as much as possible - wish me luck!

We have finally decided on a name for our little guy! It is................... top secret. I accidently let it slip to my dad and brother so I'm doing my best to keep it under wraps as much as I can from now on. My dad liked it and my brother promptly made fun of it.
It is much easier said than done for me to keep it a secret ... I WANT to tell people the name because I'm so excited, and I find it hard to keep exciting things quiet, but I've been reminding myself that not everyone will share my enthusiasm for the name. Some people don't realize they need to keep their opinions to themselves. I learned this early on when Luke and I started talking about different names we liked. I made the mistake of telling a few people some of our name ideas and I got various reactions, most notably "... Uh NO, you don't want to name your son that. He'll hate you for life!" ... I think this person was over-reacting and I still quite like the name I had mentioned (even though it was eventually nixed from the list), but I learned my lesson and learned it good - if I don't want people telling me my name ideas are bad, I won't tell them the name until AFTER the baby is born. Then if they hate the name all they can do is gossip about it and I am none the wiser which is perfectly fine with me.

Now that I'm into my third trimester I've been encountering a few issues which come with the territory. I'm finding it hard to walk up and down stairs, I have to pee ALL the time, my ribs ache unless I'm lying on my right side or standing up, and I can only breathe at night if I'm lying on my left side. Also I keep forgetting I have a belly so I've been walking into counters and tables. Once at work I walked into the fax machine in front of a patient and she pretended not to notice because I think she felt bad for me. Some people are very nice!

Other people are big mean jerks. Mostly the people who tell me that I MUST be due "any day now" and refuse to believe me when I tell them I still have two more months to go. I honestly didn't think I was that big until I started getting comments, mostly from complete strangers or patients at work. It's funny what people think they can say to me just because I am pregnant. Luckily I seem to be giving off enough hostile vibes to prevent these people from grabbing my stomach. The line has to be drawn somewhere!

I'll try and blog more before this bebe is born.

Oh, we found out we're having a boy. If it wasn't obvious from this post.

Getting there...

2010-06-27T18:34:00.003-04:00

I am now almost 17 weeks pregnant. The time really does fly by; I'm almost halfway done. In a couple weeks we will have our second ultrasound at which time we will hopefully find out if we're having a boy or a girl. I can't wait to find out, because for me, I can really start preparing for the baby to get here. I don't know how people who wait to find out the sex do it. There are only so many yellow onesies out there, and really, do you want your baby wearing all yellow, all the time? What if they don't look good in yellow? ;)

We have a girl's name picked out and several boy's names in the running. We've decided to keep the names we pick a secret. As I found out almost immediately after announcing the pregnancy, people LOVE to share their opinions with you and for some reason there seems to be an open season attitude on name-criticism until your baby is actually born. So we have decided to spare all would-be criticizers the opportunity to share their opinions (with us, at least...) because after the baby is born I doubt the opinions will be AS open.

I am counting down the days until I don't have to work anymore. I'm due December 7th and I think I'd like to leave work about 2 weeks before my due date to get ready for the baby, spend some time nesting and hopefully SLEEPING in preparation for the busy weeks ahead after the baby is born. I don't mind working but now that I know my days at the office are numbered it's getting harder and harder not to think about leaving. Oh, I forgot to mention that my original due date was December 1st, but after we got the results from the first ultrasound we found I am actually due about a week later. So, December 7th. My dad immediately said, "Oh no! A pearl harbour baby!"

I guess that's it for now... in a couple weeks I think I'll start posting some belly pics, as I've taken a weekly photo since I found out I was pregnant at 4 weeks. I know some people loathe belly photos but you are just going to have to deal with them! I love seeing the progress of a pregnant woman's belly growing ... evidence of one of the greatest miracles on earth. Birth.

(Rhyming intentional)

Preggers

2010-05-24T11:33:00.005-04:00

I've resorted to only updating this blog during major life changes. My latest major life change...? I'm pregnant! I'm sure everyone who reads this already knows this because of Facebook, but I felt bad about neglecting my poor little blog.

Right now I'm just about 13 weeks pregnant, due around December 1st. It's strange because I barely feel pregnant. I'm not really showing yet, and the morning sickness I had only lasted about 2 weeks, varying in intensity. I have gained some weight but right now that's all I can actually notice about myself physically.

I'm really happy about being pregnant. To be very honest, this isn't something Luke and I had planned for right now, but I am ecstatic just the same, and so is Luke. Sometimes it hits me and I realize in a few short months I will be holding my own baby and life will never be the same! This both scares me and makes me really happy.

My best friend Mary Anne just gave birth to her baby girl, Marley Summer, on May 22nd. I was privileged to be able to visit her just hours after she was born and it was amazing to hold her and think about my own baby coming into the world in December. These are such exciting times.

Me and beautiful Marley

I think she looks like both Mary Anne and Jordan in this picture

And this is our little jumping bean...

Whodunit?

2010-01-26T18:12:00.006-05:00

This past Saturday Luke and I had some friends over for dinner. The list of friends included Nathan, Julie, Amanda and Bronson. We ate dinner together and had lots of laughs and played some games and ate some delicious cheesecake for dessert. It was a fun time.

Later on, long after everyone had left to go home, I decided to get ready for bed. I walked up the stairs, into the bathroom, opened the cupboard, and this is what I saw:

Here's a closer look:

Now, not one of my friends is 'fessing up. Who do you think it could have been?

Amanda?

Julie?

Nathan?

Or.... Bronson?

Any and all votes are welcome!

My Ever-Increasing Left-Brainedness

2009-12-09T19:41:00.004-05:00

I do enjoy a good list. Here is a list of some recent happenings in my life:

- Today at work a random patient told me I looked like Chelsea Clinton. BARF.

- Yesterday at work a random patient walked up to the counter, looked at me and said, "Someone's having a good hair day!"

- Luke and I get to see The National Ballet of Canada's production of The Nutcracker next week!

- Today I observed Luke gleefully watching videos of young men dressed in cardboard costumes fighting each other with cardboard swords. To Metal. Thanks Caleb.

- It snowed last night. It is supposed to snow tonight!!

- Only 15 more sleeps until Christmas!!!

World... Vision?

2009-10-22T20:10:00.003-04:00

Last Tuesday evening I was home alone, reading in the living room, when I heard a knock at the door. It was already dark out but I decided to answer the door anyway.
A girl who looked to be about 21 or 22 was standing at the door, holding a clipboard and a pile of photos.

She smiled brightly at me. "Hi, is your mom or dad home?"

I stood gawking in disbelief for a few seconds before replying dumbly, "Ummm, NO."

Without missing a beat, she responded, "Would you mind telling me how old you are?"

Rather speechless, I replied angrily, "Twenty six!"

She laughed. "Oh, I wasn't sure if you were over 16 or under 16, so I just thought I'd guess! Oops, I was wrong!".

She went on to explain that she was going door-to-door representing World Vision, and that she wanted to give me the opportunity to sponsor a child in need. She gave me a pile of photos of children from different countries and as I looked through the pile she gave her pitch.

"Isn't it sooooo cool you can support these cuties? All it takes is a bit of spare change each month and in return you get the MOST awesome letters back from these kids telling you how you've changed their lives!"

"Well", I said, "I can give you some money now... I have some cash in my purse."

"Oh.", she replied, disappointed. "We don't take cash at the door. You have to sign up for pre-authorized monthly payments through your credit card company. I can stand outside while you call your company on the phone and I won't overhear any confidential information! You can do it right now."

Concerned that I was being pressured into something before I knew what I was getting myself into, I responded,

"Well... is there a website or any literature I can read to learn more about World Vision? I'd like to think about it first before I commit to something long-term."

She looked impatient. "Why can't you just sign up right now? It's easy and it's cheap. Just do it! This is an amazing opportunity! It's only a couple bucks every few weeks."

Feeling pretty annoyed myself, I answered defensively, "I am not the only decision-making person in this house. I would rather discuss it with my husband first before I commit to anything financially, and he's not home. Can't you leave any information for me to read over and consider before I sign up for anything?"

Defiant, and definitely angry at this point, she responded, "It's not like he would be MAD at you for signing up for a charity! These children need your help, right this minute! You don't need to discuss it! Seriously, you need to just do this!"

I realized I needed to just let this girl down firmly. "Yes, I do need to discuss it with my husband. And I'm not going to sign up for anything right now. Thank you."

She was distressed at this point. "Can I ask you why? You would be helping children in need!"

"I would really rather think about it. I'm not going to do it right now." ... "Sorry", I added, for good measure.

With that, she turned around abruptly and stomped down the stairs, back down the front walk to the street. No "thank you for your time", or, "here is a brochure explaining World Vision", or even, "Good-bye".

I stood open-mouthed as she marched down the sidewalk without even looking back once.

As I shut the front door, all I could do was shake my head in disbelief.

And it's almost October.

2009-09-29T19:57:00.003-04:00

Well, hi! It's been awhile, eh?

A few things have taken place since my last post.

First: I got married.

Second: I moved... I now live in Kitchener, not Waterloo.

That's about it, really. Life is good :)

"Annie's Mother's Advice"...

2009-07-04T13:30:00.002-04:00

... "Just Weeks Before Her Wedding"

(A list of advice my mother gave to me at my wedding shower last weekend)

1. Be positive.
2. Avoid aspartame.
3. Renew your library books online.
4. Don't bother to iron pajamas.
5. Save money.
6. Be generous.
7. It takes 10 smiles to overcome one frown. Or something like that.
8. Remember Jesus.
9. Soak dirty dishes if you aren't going to wash them right away.
10. Teach your children well.
11. Drink lots of tea.
12. Learn from your mistakes.
13. Eat lots of fresh produce.
14. Remember your heritage.
15. Be honest and fair.
16. Read to be informed and inspired.
17. Use bleach to clean stained teacups. Oh wait - you taught me that one.
18. Learn from others ...
19. Take along a jacket just in case.
20. Sing.
21. Be supportive of your husband.
22. Go organic.
23. Breathe tea tree and eucalyptus oils in steam to fight a cold.
24. Call your mother at least once a week.
25. Plan ahead.
26. A stitch in time saves 9. Really.
27. Treat others as you would have others treat you.
28. Do the right thing.
29. Dance is good exercise.

Bridezilla post?

2009-06-27T09:08:00.004-04:00

So, guess what? Only 35 more days until the wedding. What a whirlwind. It's been crazy, of course, highly stressful and fun all at the same time. I like a lot of aspects of wedding planning but it's all building up to one day, so I mostly just can't wait for August 1. Although there is a ton of stuff to do first. Hmm.

Some of the crazy things that have happened thus far:

1) My dressmaker had a heart attack. I had to pick up my wedding dress. It is hanging in my room, unaltered and way too big... I hope my dressmaker is okay. I have another appointment with an alterations lady next week. Cutting it close!

2) Tons of people coming to the wedding we assumed weren't coming. We are just about over capacity at our venue. But I say, the more the merrier! I think! As long as we're not illegally over capacity. Which we might be.

3) My lack of car. It's next to impossible to plan a wedding when you cannot get anywhere you need to and (almost) everyone you know lives out of town. Well, I have a vehicle now - my mom's ancient van. It's definitely doing the trick in terms of transportation, but it's like driving a house. Also, the tires squeal every time I speed up, slow down, take any sort of turn at all, idle, park, drive normally or turn the ignition.

4) The LCBO's almost-strike. Luke and I definitely stocked up on liquor the day before the potential strike and now there are cases and cases of girly cocktail drinks in the basement. Oh, and the LCBO decided not to strike after all.

That's all I can think of for now but there have been countless stressful, funny and crazy moments. It's been a wild ride, and I know it's only going to get wilder before the big day. But it will all be fine in the end. At least, that's what I keep promising myself :)

Tommy K

2009-04-21T22:23:00.003-04:00

You know, I'm feeling a little guilty. Not long ago I posted about Thomas Kinkade (or as I like to call him... "The Kink") and how much I dislike his work. According to the traffic feed on the right side of this page, a lot of random people from all over the States, Canada and Elsewhere have been searching for photos of Tommy K's work, and have been directed, by Google Images, to my blog. It makes me a bit sad to think that people out there who genuinely like The Kink's work and want to gaze upon it will be obliviously directed to my blog, which only has mean things to say about it.

I guess I could never be an art critic. I would feel too guilty. I mean, Thomas Kinkade is a real person and his artwork must flow out of something genuine, right? There must be a pure source of creativity within him inspiring him to paint from his heart..... right?

But...... I just...... puzzles. Really?

Poor Woodstock...

2009-04-16T21:48:00.003-04:00

I've been thinking a lot lately about the missing 8-year-old girl from Woodstock, Victoria Stafford. It's such an eerie situation, especially with the video showing her walking willingly away from her school with a strange woman no one seems to recognize.

It's been an odd year for Woodstock. First, the story about the family of 4 succumbing to carbon monoxide poisoning in their own home. That family lived on the same street as my parents. Every time I go to my mom's house I have to drive past the house where this family lay dead for days before the accident was discovered. The family's vehicles are still parked in the driveway of the house, and the porch light is still on. It's such an unsettling feeling.

And now the abduction of an 8 year old girl, in the same small town. I heard today America's Most Wanted will be featuring the story.

Being in the international news more than once in one year seems like a lot for a small Canadian town.

Here I go again...

2009-04-14T21:52:00.005-04:00

... blogging about nothing. I'm like the Jerry Seinfeld of blogging. Except less funny. And far less rich.

I am rather annoyed by my hair in the banner photo at the top of the page. It looks like I had a rounder head of hair originally, and tried to fix it by photo-shopping/cropping around the edge, and missed a giant chunk at the top. But no, that's the way my hair actually is. Pretty!

I tried gluten free beer on Sunday. It's called La Messagere, and it's made from..... I'm not sure, actually. But it does not contain gluten. In fact, it does not even contain any flavour remotely resembling beer. It kind of tastes like yeasty, unsweetened, flavourless pop. I wouldn't recommend it. Luke says it would be better icy cold. We tried drinking it at room temperature. Gross.

Wedding planning has been chugging along. I'm (anxiously) awaiting the arrival of my wedding dress. I'm terrified I'll be too fat for it. I had to sign a very serious waiver stating any significant weight gain or loss affecting the fit of the dress would be MY problem. Luckily (?) I haven't had to worry about any significant weight LOSS. Sigh. You'd think I would be super motivated to get in shape considering the fact I am counting down to one of the biggest days of my life... but no. I guess I don't do well under pressure.

Okay, I swear this was the last post for today!

False Alarm

2009-04-14T17:34:00.001-04:00

I'm very thankful and relieved to announce my migraine went away this morning. It's so random. Sometimes painkillers work, sometimes they don't. I got lucky today.

I'm annoyed with myself because I had a container of cheesecake out last night and I forgot to put it back in the freezer. Half a cheesecake... wasted! It should be considered a sin.

Uhhhhhh. That's all I have to say at the moment.

Uh oh...

2009-04-14T08:07:00.001-04:00

No time to blog, especially about anything deep, but I have to go to work in 5 minutes and I have the most splitting, vomit-inducing, head-spasming headache EVER. I don't think I've ever had pain in my head this bad before. And I have to go to work shortly and politely greet and accommodate patients' needs all day.

Pray for me! :(

Just... nothing

2009-03-31T21:10:00.002-04:00

It's almost April! I keep hearing dire predictions of one last snowstorm coming our way, but I am defiantly refusing to believe it will happen. Although it has been ridiculously cold, lately, in my opinion.

Why am I talking about the weather? It's because I yet again have literally nothing to blog about. I sat here for a full 5 minutes and my brain isn't giving me anything.

You know, I hate coming back later and reading posts like this. When I go over the many posts I've uploaded to this blog over the years, these ones bug me the most. But you know what? Sometimes there's just nothing to blog about. I'm not one of those people who sometimes posts nothing but a picture or a recipe, though I do enjoy those posts when other people write them. It's just not me.

So this is all I have to offer for now. I'll be in touch if anything else inspires me!

Oh, dear Lord it's true...

2009-03-25T22:56:00.001-04:00

http://www.thestar.com/article/607360

This Just In

2009-03-25T22:49:00.003-04:00

This morning I heard on the radio that all Outback Steakhouse restaurants in Ontario are closing for good, due to the economic crisis.

GOD SAVE US! Where will I go for a delicious gluten free brownie and ice cream dessert, after ordering and devouring a scrumptious meal straight from the specifically gluten free menu??!

OH DEAR GOD!

Bad artists.

2009-03-10T21:33:00.007-04:00

I just came from reading a post on Ariane's blog about bad artists. She posted about how she dislikes Norman Rockwell.

She made a couple good points, but she failed to mention that artist THOMAS KINKADE is way worse.

I don't feel much like outlining my reasons for disliking Kinkade's work. I think I will leave you to form your own opinion.

BEHOLD:

Did I mention you can buy almost all of his work in jigsaw puzzle format?

You should also know...

2009-03-02T23:40:00.004-05:00

... that Luke has a brand new blog! Since he, Caleb and Kerry went their separate ways recently and no longer live in the beloved (and sometimes dirty) Bairstow house, the Bairstowaways blog seems to have become obsolete. What better reason than to start a personal blog?

Check it out and you will be introduced to Luke's crazy shenanigans and other goings-on.

Brunch S. Allen

(And don't forget to vote in the poll on his page... )

When in doubt, make a list.

2009-03-02T17:53:00.005-05:00

I've been having a hard time lately coming up with interesting things to blog about. I suppose I should think outside the box and approach blogging from a unique angle to be more creative. Unfortunately, I don't care enough to go to as much effort as that, so I will resort to making a list of things funny/embarrassing/interesting that have happened to me lately (or whatever):

1. Last night my housemate's cat, Iris, peed on my bed. There was so much pee it soaked through several layers of blankets and sheets, all the way down to my mattress. EW.

2. Yesterday Luke and I got to see two good friends of ours (Caleb and Kirk) get baptized.

3. I recently ordered a bunch of retro books and movies online, including 6 Tin Tin books and Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.

4. I recently saw the movies Coraline (in 3D!!!) and Confessions of a Shopaholic. Coraline was incredible and I highly recommend it (but not for kids), and 'Confessions' was shallow fun, and I suggest waiting for it to come out on DVD.

5. It is supposed to be 9 degrees this coming Sunday! (pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepleaseplease!)

I know it's a little early, but...

2009-02-23T19:04:00.005-05:00

Something I've noticed about myself is that I am completely affected by the seasons. Like most people, I feel a little down after a few months of wintery darkness, and during the worst of it I tend to hole up in my room and do almost nothing other than read, surf the net and eat. All I eat is comfort food and there is no way I can stick to any sort of plan to eat healthfully when winter is seemingly here to stay. (Some may recognize my insane yearly craving for cinnamon hearts here... seriously, insane)

Once the days start lasting a little longer and we get the occasional thaw, I go into SPRING MODE. Almost immediately I start developing a ton of goals and I start making plans. I sleep a little less each night and I start to feel excited about getting out there and getting stuff done. Even though the weather is -10 right now, the day has been bright and I know winter will eventually be over. It's possible the worst of it has come and gone.

It's so interesting how the weather can affect us so much. During the dreary parts of winter I never seem to be able to recognize that it is just the weather making me feel so unmotivated. I always think I'm in some sort of random funk and I can never figure out why. When the weather starts to warm up and move into spring I begin to realize it wasn't just me, it was the weather.

I'm excited for spring!

Torture

2009-02-16T22:40:00.006-05:00

I've had one song VICIOUSLY stuck in my head for the past few weeks. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to get rid of it. It's a brutal one, too, since I hadn't really known about it until it recently started to arbitrarily play on the radio EVERY DAY. It's not even a new song, it's from the 80's. Why play it constantly now? No really, why?

The song is "The Longest Time" by Billy Joel. I didn't mind it at first, but now it's been in my head long enough to the point of feeling like I'm stuck in a bad dream. I wish I could say I'm kidding but I'm not.

Yes... it's been stuck in my head .... for the longest time. GAH!

(Click the link below to share the burden with me)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Smeyf8nhM5Q

The latest

2009-02-11T19:12:00.002-05:00

I should probably update this thang.

Life has been a whirlwind of appointments, driving to other towns and more appointments. Oh and work. But it has all been good, for the most part. Maybe a little stressful at times but all the busy-ness is planning for the wedding and moving into the new house, so all the insanity has been for a good reason, so it's not too hard to be happy about it.

Other than that, I don't have much to report right now. When inspiration hits I'll do another post. For some reason I really hate writing anything on here when I can't think of something specific I want to blog about. Meh.

Verbal slip-ups

2009-01-06T18:38:00.004-05:00

My job involves a lot of phone interaction with people. We get a lot of people calling for the same reason all day so we tend to have to repeat ourselves over and over again. For instance, people call in all the time to order refills of contact lenses. Our policy is that we have to get the patient's chart and check the last order to make sure we write down the next order correctly, while the patient waits on the phone. Consequently, I find I always have to say something along the lines of, "Can you hold for a minute? I have to go pull your chart". Sometimes my wording varies and I say, "Please hold for a moment, I have to find your file".

On busy, busy days (like today), my job starts to feel like I'm learning to juggle. I'm talking major multi-tasking. I tend to get a bit scattered as it gets busier in the office, so unfortunately, when someone called in today and asked to order more contacts, this is what I said:

"Excuse me while I go pull your FART".

Yes, "fart" is a combination of "file" and "chart".

Luckily the girl on the phone seemed to think it was pretty funny, as of course, did everyone else within earshot. There was much laughter.

Best of 2008

2009-01-04T22:14:00.003-05:00

Well... 2008 has been a pretty gigantic year for me. I moved to a different city, changed jobs, got engaged and bought a house! (Well, I shouldn't take credit for that... it was pretty much all Luke... in fact, it WAS all Luke.)

Never has so much happened to me in one year. And it's all so incredible! I know 2008 was a rough year for a lot of people, especially for people who lost their jobs or lost a lot of money, so I'm thankful to be having so many good things happen in my life at the moment.

I'm crazily excited about 2009. I've never looked forward to so many things as I am right now. I can't wait to move into the house, I can't wait to get married. Amazing how it all happens so fast.

Here is a picture of the house. Luke gets possession of it on January 22! (So soon!)

And the nightmares begin...

2008-12-15T20:18:00.002-05:00

Okay, I had my first post-engagement wedding planning nightmare yesterday. Not a figurative nightmare, a literal nightmare, which led to me waking up this morning repeating, "it was just a dream, it was just a dream, it was JUST a dream", etc. I don't know how people plan weddings in less than 6 months. I'm panicking and our wedding date is August 1. Claire, how are you dealing with this?? I have no idea where to start in terms of booking caterers, finding places to rent tables and chairs, ideas for decorating or even ideas for bridesmaids' dresses. Yikes. My worst fear is that no one can come to the wedding. In my dream the wedding came too early and my hair wasn't even done properly, the dress looked bad, I had no makeup on and only half of the guests were there. No one was there to officiate and I was actually late for my own wedding. I walked in and everyone was sitting down and I didn't even know how to find the aisle down the middle of the sanctuary.

Oooooh wow, I really don't want any prophetic-types analyzing the meaning behind that one!

My Big News!

2008-12-07T14:32:00.003-05:00

I figured it was time to update my blog... and what could be more exciting than getting to report that Luke and I are engaged??!

It happened on December 5. Luke had planned a special night out in Niagara-on-the-Lake. He picked me up straight from work and we headed straight to NOTL. He had discovered there was a Candlelit Stroll happening on the evening of December 5 - basically a walking tour of the town, with carrollers posted on different corners and the whole town decorated beautifully for christmas. People walk through the streets holding lit candles and listening to the different choirs singing carrolls.

It was a very cold night so after we walked through the town we stepped into a gourmet food shop for some hot apple cider. Luke had made dinner reservations at a local restaurant. Apparently he planned on proposing during the candlelit stroll but it didn't end up working out that way... there were way too many people around and I had made sure long ago I didn't want a public spectacle of a proposal!

When we got to the restaurant we were seated at a table that had a bouquet of roses on it. I didn't even notice the roses at first, and I was eventually like, "why does our table have roses on it?", because I noticed our table was the only one with roses. We had a nice dinner and eventually we were ready to leave. I had my suspicions during the week that he would ask me on Friday, so while we were at the restaurant I was wondering the whole time when he would ask me. I was worried he would forget that I DIDN'T want a restaurant proposal or a public proposal, so I was nervous the whole dinner he would get down on one knee in front of everyone and propose!

We left the restaurant at 10:30, and by then the streets were entirely deserted. It was beautiful out because it had started snowing, and all the christmas lights everywhere were still on. As we were walking to the car, Luke all of a sudden got down on one knee, pulled the ring out of his pocket and asked me to marry him. It was funny because as he was getting down on one knee I was just like, "ahhhhhhhh!!", before he even had a chance to pop the question. I said yes, of course :)

We took some pictures:

So that's our big news! We're planning on getting married this summer.

Owww.

2008-09-30T21:33:00.003-04:00

Yesterday I had an appointment to donate blood at the local Canadian Blood Services clinic. I went down there after work and got ready to be poked and prodded. The first thing they did was poke my finger to test my blood for iron to see if I would be eligible to donate. What they do is put a drop of your blood in this solution, and if it sinks your iron levels are fine and if it floats to the top your iron is probably low. In my case it floated. So, they put another sample of it into this machine to assess it further and I didn't pass. The levels were too low. So I can't donate blood! Go figure. I had no idea. Anyway, then I got a talking to by a nurse in the clinic who showed me all these pamphlets about proper iron intake and was told to go buy vitamins.

I am now sitting at my computer, my stomach paining me, after ingesting an iron supplement. It's NOT a comfortable feeling. Maybe I should go eat some liver?

Okay, I gotta do this.

2008-09-29T23:02:00.003-04:00

By popular demand, I have decided to post a link to a picture I found, SOOO not on purpose, of Shia Labeouf, from the other day. For my last post I searched under images on google to find some good before/after pictures of him and this is one of the first ones I found:

scandalous picture of Shia Labeouf

Oops.

I tell ya. I was tempted to post it right on here just for the shock value, but then my conscience got the better of me and I decided I didn't want to go there. But like I said, you can't argue with Popular Demand, so a compromise was in order.

If you need to run and throw up now, that's okay.

No more "Even Stevens", that's for sure

2008-09-27T12:47:00.006-04:00

Last night Luke and I went to see Eagle Eye, the new Shia Labeouf movie. Going into it we weren't sure what it would be like, but it seemed like one of those typical FBI conspiracy thriller movies filled with hidden (or not so hidden) messages about how corrupt the system is. Whether or not I agree with that opinion is beside the point, though I sometimes think this theme is overdone in movies. Very overdone.

As always, my expectations going into the theatre were pretty low ... and ... I was extremely impressed with the movie. Luke wasn't as impressed as me, but his expectations are always pretty dang high.

Anyway, I can't seem to get the whole "Even Stevens"/Shia Labeouf association out of my head, but every time I see him in another movie I realize our little Shia is growing up! He's a man now! Good for him!

Without giving any of the plot away, I suggest you go see this movie. A word of warning though ... if you like your movies believable, this one might tick you off. But hey, a totally unrealistic crazy-unbelievable-technology movie is sometimes just what the doctor ordered. I doubt movies like this are ever filmed to be believable.

Look at lil' Shia before and after ... so grown up! And he knows how to smoke cigarettes now! So Hollywood.

Vancouver

2008-09-15T17:54:00.008-04:00

In moss and grey corners, my heart hides
across a lonely stretch of industrial water, at 6 in the morning
I wait all day for 9 o'clock
when the heartbeat of the city
strikes at the same time as mine
(from stanley park)
now I see overgrown gardens
and darkened wooden boards,
fragile with age
reminders of what used to be.
Years ago, looking out your window
I used to see flickering city lights
birds circling and ships moving so slowly
they didn't move at all
now, everything is exactly the same
(and that's what hurts)
yet so different
I am in a different world
and it makes me cry.

An obligatory update post!

2008-07-31T18:37:00.002-04:00

Hey everyone! I thought I would briefly check in. I don't have too much to blog about these days, because things are going rather smoothly and drama-free for me. My job is great, my house is great (except for a broken air conditioner) and life is ..... well, GREAT (for lack of a better word) all around.

My mom had to have an emergency appendectomy a couple weeks ago, which was scary for me. It turns out her appendix had actually ruptured and she just thought she had the flu. She is such a trooper. It turns out she did all of the following with a ruptured appendix: went grocery shopping, drove to stratford and back, worked a 4 hour shift and drove Art to Ingersoll. Eventually she wound up at the hospital because of pain and ended up have surgery. She was in the hospital for a few days, and all is well now.

I guess I don't have too much more to report. I have NOT been in a blogging mood lately. I'm not sure why... I've noticed this writer's block tends to happen in the summer. Maybe because I would rather be doing something outside than hunched over in front of a computer screen typing my little heart out.

I hope you are all having a good summer :)

On my walk home from Zeller's this evening

2008-07-15T21:49:00.008-04:00

~

Poor old man,
Wearing your hat and suspenders
Times have changed for you.
Now you watch as your stalled car is towed
chains shackled to its front bumper by crass young men in wifebeaters
you stand helplessly by, your hands in your pockets.

~

I wanted to tell you I was out aimlessly walking
Deep in thought, unaware of the time
(So poetic.)
Instead, I decided on the truth:
I walked to the store.
I bought groceries.
How I long to weave mystery into the every-day,
To paint colour in the black and white spaces!
I suppose, instead of inventing colours
I can look for what's hidden,
For the beauty already there.
I bought a flowered dress
Heard the voice of a child
Saw twins with their mother
An old couple holding hands side by side
Teenagers roaring by in cars, shouting and laughing
The sun warming my back as I walked home
(to you.)

Life is good!

2008-07-15T18:40:00.002-04:00

Time for a lil' update.

Life in the 'Loo is outstanding. I am LOVING my new job... best I've ever had, definitely. Everyone I work with is great and I even love the job tasks (it doesn't hurt that it's a fairly easy job). I get full time hours so I don't have any time off during the week to do summery stuff, other than evenings, but I honestly don't mind.

I guess I've sort of been taking it easy in the evening so I don't have much news for this blog... so... uh.... that's it. Shortest update ever!

My job, and my 1st week in Waterloo

2008-07-03T18:26:00.008-04:00

Okay, so today was Day 2 of The New Job. It has been going very well. Yesterday was overwhelming with so much info thrown at me, I didn't get the chance to get a feel for how things were done. Today was even busier, but I think I actually started absorbing some of the information given to me. There are so many little details to learn that I didn't anticipate needing training for so the initial couple days has been a little tedious. I'm starting to see this is going to be a great job, though. The environment is very friendly and the patients are not crazily stressed out, like at my last job, so the actual work itself isn't stressful. The staff are friendly, encouraging and very helpful. I've been getting some very thorough training which I appreciate SO much, because I find it makes all the difference in a new job.

So yeah, it's been a huge relief to find that I really like the job and that I can see myself doing well at it.

On Monday night, I was surprised to find that Luke had planned a "welcome to Waterloo" party for me! I thought I was going to his place for dinner and when I came in the door a bunch of our friends yelled 'surprise' from the living room. The table was piled high with gluten free pizza from Pizza Pizza (soooooo good, by the way) and gluten free cookies. The sounds of Sufjan Stevens came from the music player in the kitchen (thanks Kerry!!!). After dinner we split into 2 teams for a photo scavenger hunt. It worked out perfectly for girls vs. boys, with 4 people on each team. Us girls kicked the boys' BUTTS. We got everything on the list and more. So much fun. After we all got back to the haus, we played Apples to Apples, my new favorite game, and Whoonu, which is similar to Apples to Apples. Very fun.

On Tuesday (Canada Day) we had a BBQ at Luke's place with a bunch of Luke's McMaster friends (and Mary Anne and Jordan!). We played croquet in the back yard, ate lots of BBQed meat and had fun playing a couple of Caleb's old school Nintendo games and Apples to Apples. After dessert we piled into our cars to go watch the Waterloo fireworks, which were pretty good. It ended up being a pretty late night for us, because after the fireworks ended it took us forever to get out of the area, due to the INSANE TRAFFIC. It was madness.

Anyway, it's been a really good week. Thanks very much to everyone who has welcomed me to Waterloo! I know I'm going to love it here :)

Wish me luck!

2008-07-02T06:16:00.003-04:00

I start my new job today. I'm not sure what to expect because I don't know what kind of training I'll be getting. It should be interesting.

I've been up since 5:00 playing Mario 3 downstairs. And now Micah's cat is sitting on my bed, screeching her bird-like little meow nonstop. My mornings have already changed drastically :)

Anyway, I will update later on about my first day at work.

The final countdown

2008-06-25T20:31:00.007-04:00

The countdown is officially on for my move to Waterloo. The final move happens on Saturday night.

I've been having mixed feelings all week about moving. Leaving my current job has been strange for me. I've been looking forward to my last week of work, thinking it will be a fuzzy wuzzy time of reminiscing with the gals before I leave forever, but it has been a ROUGH week so far. Tensions have been high (in some situations) and I'm feeling like I might be leaving on a less-than-good note. It's nothing major at all, I'm just not getting the wonderful week I wanted.

Wow. Wonderful alliteration. Walliteration. Wonderful Walliteration.

I think I've come to the conclusion that I can't control how people feel this week and that if I want to enjoy my last few days here, I can. And I will.

My new Waterloo job starts a week from today. I've never had such a smooth transition from job to job in terms of timing. It's kind of a treat, and wayyyy less stressful than what I've been used to.

I did something stupid last night: I pulled an all-nighter. Last night I stayed at my new place, and decided it would be a good idea to put books on shelves instead of sleep. For some reason I've never been able to sleep for more than 2 hours in that room. I think it must be something to do with my room not being set up, AKA, EVERYTHING I OWN IS STREWN ABOUT THE ROOM. Realllllly not conducive to a feeling of restfulness. That, and my bed may fall apart any second now. (Due to the fact that during my LAST all-nighter, I tiredly couldn't find all the pieces to put my bed together and decided to just build it with the pieces I could find, out of impatience. And laziness. I think some of the missing pieces are a bit IMPORTANT. So if I don't come out of my room some morning it is probably because I am lying trapped and concussed under shards of broken bed.)

Wellp, as I said, I pulled an all-nighter last night so I think I'll go finish up some typing and then take it easy for the rest of the night.

Annie, AKA Susan Pevensie? (or, this will be a picture post)

2008-06-22T22:39:00.008-04:00

In the past few weeks I've been told by 3 separate sources that I look like Susan from the Narnia movies. I haven't seen the second movie yet but I don't really see it myself. It's weird, though, how many people think I look like her.

Also, LOLcats are still making me lawl on a daily basis. Below are some of my recent favorites.

The next two are dedicated to Luke:

Last but not least, the next one is dedicated to Luke, Caleb, Kristi and Amanda.

Why I dislike migraines.

2008-06-22T13:37:00.003-04:00

On Friday morning at work I could feel a headache starting. Every time this happens I remain optimistic that it will go away and I choose to avoid medicating it. By the time I left work after 5:00 PM, I had a full-blown, nausea-inducing MIGRAINE. I waited for a bit before leaving to take a couple Gravol and a painkiller, to try and feel better before hopping on the city bus on the way home. Packed city buses are not a good setting to nurse an ill feeling and a painful head.

I left work feeling a tiny bit better and had to sit for awhile in the bus shelter to catch my bus anyway. I began to think disaster had been avoided. The bus finally came, and it was so crammed full of people there was barely enough room to stand. I ended up standing between a loud man reeking of alcohol and a rude woman who kept bumping into me.

Halfway up the jolley cut (or whatever it's called) on the way to Upper Wellington, the nausea came back in waves. The stinky loud man talking to whoever would listen didn't help. As we reached the top of the hill, I knew I needed to get off the bus PRONTO. We were stopped at a red light. I staggered to the front of the bus and said to the driver, "I'm sorry, can you let me off here?". He gives me an impatient look, "the next stop is right after this light." Me, "I'm going to throw up." The driver completely ignores me.

By the time the bus pulled up to the next stop, I had my hand over my mouth to stop the vomit from spewing everywhere, as I started heaving. The driver opened the door, I ran out as fast as possible, and proceeded to dash inside the bus shelter and vomit everywhere. In front of the crammed city bus, which still happened to be right there.

The bus didn't wait for me. It took off again without me and I had to walk to the nearest convenience store to buy water, kleenex and gum. I then had to wait for the next bus and use another ticket to get home.

THAT is why I dislike migraines.

Update approximately the length of War and Peace...

2008-06-17T17:58:00.021-04:00

Facebook isn't working right now. This is highly frustrating. How can I creepily stalk random aquaintances without the informative News Feed?

In other news, I GOT A JOB! I am incredibly excited slash relieved. It is a reception position in a busy optometry clinic. The interview was great and I know the job will be a good fit for me. The people seem really positive which is important to me. The thing I strive for most in every job I've had is to be kind to everyone I encounter, no matter what. Kindness and a positive attitude can really soften people up, patients especially, which ends up lowering stress for office staff and creates a smooth experience for everyone. My personal goal at work has always been to treat every patient equally and to treat all people with respect. The thought of spending the majority of my waking hours in a miserable, negative environment is enough to make me depressed, so hearing that this clinic highly values the same qualities that I do is excellent news. Also, I live a literal 5-minute walk away. How convenient is that?! I won't have to learn a strange and new city bus system. Love it.

Moving on. As you can probably tell, there hasn't been any news about George Michael. I ended up calling the pet rescue lady and she brought her scenting dog to my parents' place a couple of weeks ago. We were really optimistic because a neighbour had called the night before telling us she had seen a cat fitting George Michael's description hiding underneath the fir tree in her front yard. The scenting dog took us straight to this tree as soon as the search started. Unfortunately we looked everywhere and couldn't find anything. It was a really hot, humid day, which is apparently the worst type of weather for a search. The scent evaporates too quickly for the dog to be able to follow it. The dog lost the trail soon after taking us to the tree. We thoroughly searched the area around the neighbour's house anyway but didn't find any clues.

We were pretty hopeful after that for a few days because it seemed that George Michael couldn't be too far away. The neighbour lady called again a few days later to say that she had seen the cat under the tree again. My parents borrowed a humane trap from the local vet's office and set it up under the neighbour's tree overnight. Unfortunately the trap worked... on the neighbour's cat. It sounded like quite the incident. The neighbour had to get up in the middle of the night to let their yowling and terrified cat out of the cage. My parents realized we had to stop inconveniencing the neighbours and took the trap back to the vet's office. There were tufts of orange fur everywhere around the trap... evidently the poor creature was quite traumatized. I know I shouldn't find it funny but I definitely laughed when I heard the story.

Anyway, missing cats who fearfully hide when they can't find their way home usually return between 7-10 days after disappearing. Their hunger overtakes their fear and they venture out to search for their home. They are basically directed by their instinct to survive. The 7-10 day period has long come and gone for us and there still has been no sign of George Michael.

I feel that he was probably in the area for awhile. It seems now like he probably won't come home. This is really sad for me because I have no idea if he is trapped or injured or in pain or kidnapped or was hit by a car or ANYTHING. The not knowing is the worst part. A tiny part of me still thinks that he might come back, but one has to stop hoping at some point. "Hope deferred makes the heart sick." There's only so much I can do and I think it's time to let go of this. This loss really pisses me off because I know a million people with cats who couldn't care less if their cat went missing, and would even give their cat away if such an opportunity arose. I feel like I'm one of the only people out of many cat-owners I know who really cares for their cat, and mine is the one who goes missing. Sometimes this life just doesn't seem to make sense.

Anyway. Other than the cat situation life really is good for me. I am excited about moving in soon with Kristi and Micah. I get the first week of July off before my new job starts, which works really well for me because it gives me a week to settle in at my new place, paint my room, whatever. The timing is amazing. I will really miss my current job but I think the time has come for me to move on to something else. I'm just glad that I had a great experience there (for the most part) and that I ended up with a couple of valued friendships as a result of my time there.

Speaking of my current job I have to go now and finish up on some typing.

Sufjan on a roof in Canada

2008-06-13T00:23:00.001-04:00

This is why I love the banjo.

George Michael

2008-06-02T19:58:00.005-04:00

I have a bit of sad news. My beloved cat (those of you who know me KNOW how much I love this cat) has been missing since Thursday night. My mom and stepdad in Woodstock have been taking care of him since I can't have a cat where I'm moving. He's always been an indoor cat, but since my parents live in a quiet neighbourhood, they've been letting him out for little bits at a time to explore the backyard. My parents actually have 2 cats (so their house has been Cat City lately) and their cats have always been outdoor cats, so it seemed natural that George Michael make the gradual transition into being an outdoor cat himself.

On Thursday night after dark my mom was letting the dog out (yes, they also have a dog) and George Michael took the opportunity to race out the door into the backyard. Normally he decides to come back after awhile and meows at the door to be let in, but this time he didn't come back. My mom went to bed, expecting him to be waiting at the door in the morning in time for breakfast, but he wasn't there. That evening when he missed dinner too she started getting worried.

I came to my parents' place on Saturday afternoon and my mom told me he was missing. I had a good cry. In fact, I bawled my eyes out. I love that cat. I went out walking around the neighbourhood for about an hour (crying as I walked) and saw no sign of him. It was raining hard and thundering too so I thought he might return to get out of the rain but he didn't come home. Later that day my mom and I printed off some flyers and posted them around the neighbourhood, on community mailboxes, telephone poles etc. My mom and stepdad had already called the SPCA, local animal shelters and other similar places before I even knew he was missing, and no one had seen him. I actually emailed a 'pet detective' in the kitchener area, asking her if she thinks she can help me. She has a dog that is trained to sniff out lost pets. It sounds expensive and I don't even know if it's still early enough to work, but I thought I would at least look into it. I don't know what else can be done.

I have no idea if he will come back or not. I am praying that he does. It might seem a bit silly to those of you who don't like cats (I know a lot of people who hate cats) or don't understand what it feels like to really care for a pet, but for some reason this has actually been devastating for me. I've been crying on and off since I found out and I can't shake this feeling of sadness. A lot of people feel very attached to their dogs and I've always thought of myself as a dog person but since getting George Michael I have decided that I must be a cat person. Most cats aren't very affectionate but every time I picked up George Michael he would purr loudly and nuzzle his head against my face. He would run to the door the second I came home and would follow me around, even after eating dinner, wanting to sit on my lap. My favorite thing was when he curled up into the space behind my knees as I slept at night.

Wow, I am sounding sentimental. I know it sounds ridiculous, but I really can't explain this without sounding a bit silly.

Anyway, my parents said they would call me if they found anything out. I'll post it on here if there is any news.

Baby, I must be looking fiiiiiiiiiine today!

2008-05-29T22:20:00.003-04:00

I never get catcalls. Well, hardly ever. And today I got two! I know, I shouldn't be happy about it. Catcalls are sexist, insulting, bla bla bla. But if I'm honest, sometimes they put a little bounce in my step.

As I'm walking home from work this afternoon:

"Hey, come back! Please! I want to meet you! Please! Come back!"

and,

"Hey sexy, want to join us for a beer?"

Yeah, slightly creepy. Maybe really creepy. But it still made me feel like Miss Thang.

Ohhhh wow it's been awhile.

2008-05-13T17:22:00.006-04:00

Time for an update.

I am now living at Heather's place... I've been working with her at the doctor's office for the past 4 years, and living in her house has been fun so far. Oh and I get rides to work. So I can't complain.

I still don't have a job in Waterloo set up for July.... anyone know of anything? Preferably officey?

Uhhhh... what else. Ummmm. I'm going to ballet in 20 minutes. Yup. Should be a good workout. A nice sweaty workout. I need a hand towel with me I sweat so much. It's really attractive. Anyway, I missed two weeks in a row so there might be hell to pay (physically, and from the teacher... I don't know how she takes absenteeism yet).

I don't have to work tomorrow, so that is a major PLUS. The crappy thing is that it's supposed to rain tomorrow and I have the most typing to do for work I've EVER had to do, so there might not be much opportunity for fun and games. Oh well, I can bum around the house and do what I want for the most part, and that's definitely nicer than being at work all day.

Anyway this is clearly becoming one of those posts where I don't know what to say next so I spend too long thinking of something boring to post which won't entertain anyone anyway and won't be of any benefit to me at all so I may as well just end this before it gets any more boring.

I like this boy...

2008-05-01T20:41:00.006-04:00

... And his name is Luke.

Okay, I'm not totally sure what the exact point of this post is other than to show off my boy, AKA B.F., AKA Main Squeeze, AKA Significant Other, AKA partner in crime, AKA better half, AKA "special friend", AKA sugar daddy, AKA any other synonyms I can't think of right now.

Check us out.

Well, you can't say we're not INTERESTING.

Joy. Purity. Light.

2008-05-01T00:47:00.007-04:00

These are the things I've realized I've been dyyyyyying to put my focus on. Lately I've been immersing myself in a lot of negative stuff and I'm realizing it's been really weighing on my soul. Earlier today I came home from work and immediately started watching Intervention on my computer (I'm not kidding about this fixation), and realized I was starting to just feel sick about the content of the show. There's only so much darkness, negativity, desperation and despair I can focus on when I continually watch this very real documentary about addiction. At first I found the show completely mesmerizing... on quick inspection my world is so far from the lives of those the show focuses on.... and yet, as I look closer I'm beginning to see how scarily similar my life can be to those of the addicts.

I think we all face addiction. It comes in many forms... dieting, shopping, sex, reading, TV, certain toxic people we come in contact with, exercise, food, the internet. Certainly there is also the "darker" world of drug and alcohol abuse which we more commonly think of when we hear the word addiction.

I think I have an addictive personality. I seem to seek forms of escapism in my every day behaviour, almost by default, and I'm not sure why. All I know is that I always have to be very careful in my day-to-day life in the choices I make.

I think this darkness in me is what had me so drawn to Intervention. I actually really identified with the darkness in those people's lives, and I think I was trying to cause that truth in me to rise to the surface so I could look it in the face. Upon realizing it, I have had to confront the darkness of it, and I am all of a sudden repulsed by addiction.

Earlier this afternoon I watched a short clip on Youtube of some young teenage guys at some sort of party. The boys were young, like maybe only 13 or 14, and the party appeared to be some sort of 'pill party'. The video consisted of a short clip of a boy completely out of his mind stoned on some varied mix of prescription pills. The look on his face was so vacant, so shocked... like nothing I've ever seen. He stood in one spot, staring at the camera with his mouth gaping open at the people around him with what looked like stark fear and confusion. Everyone around him was laughing hysterically at him in his condition. I was left feeling a deep sense of horror I couldn't erase from my mind and I still feel sick when I think about the video.

I have witnessed this potential fall into a bottomless pit of addiction in my own life, and I am now running as fast as I can away from it. I think God was showing me something really important... and I have learned my lesson. I can feel Him pulling me into His arms again, breathing life into me and assuring me that yet again, everything is going to be okay. There is still purity and hope, and I can always, always find it in Him, no matter what.

He is safe.

The most ironic thing...

2008-04-30T03:26:00.006-04:00

... is that I am literally addicted to the TV show "Intervention" on A&E. This show is about addiction. I can't stop watching it. I think I've watched about 20 episodes of it online in the past few days. I'm getting to know the production formula for the order of events in each episode. And still I want more. More, more, more. And more. I may need an Intervention intervention.

For lack of anything else to blog about, here is a recent photo of Luke and I at my parents' place in Woodstock, enjoying a lovely BBQ (bee-bee cue... that's how I always want to say it when I see it spelled 'BBQ'...). The only thing possibly more lovely than a lovely BBQ is Luke's lovely smile. Check it out.

OK, this finally has to be addressed.

2008-04-27T22:57:00.005-04:00

It has taken me awhile to actually address this because I didn't want to state the obvious, but I've recently added a feature to my blog called the Live Traffic Feed. It's been a really interesting experiment because it shows on the left-hand panel of the page the live locations of where in the world people reading my blog are from. If for example you are from Atlanta, Georgia and you one day happen upon my blog, "Atlanta, Georgia" will immediately show up on the live feed. I saw this feature on someone else's blog awhile ago and thought it would be a really cool feature to add. Just who is reading the random nonsense I feel the need to post online to a mostly silly and pointless blog? Now at least I can know where YOU are from.

So far there've been a few readers from BC show up on the feed which is perfectly normal considering I grew up in Kamloops and still keep in touch with many people from there. (Sharon! Sonya! Tennille!) Plus, all of my relatives live in BC.

There are a few readers from the Kitchener/Waterloo area. This is also quite normal considering my boyfriend lives in Waterloo and a lot of our mutual friends live there. (Mandie! Kristi! Whoever else Luke and I are both connected to!) Plus, the people in Luke's haus have a blog which I frequently visit and comment on which would naturally lead people to go to my blog out of simple curiosity.

I have readers from Hamilton. This one isn't even worth explaining, really, I AM FROM HAMILTON.

So, now enters the reason for this long-winded rant... who the heck are the people reading my blog from all the heck over the world? I don't know anyone living in Moncton, New Brunswick, let alone anyone from Seoul-Tukpyolsi, Korea, and yet these two locations show up repeatedly on the live feed. These people are consistently checking for updates. Who are you? Who are you???!

It's not that I'm creeped out by my foreign visitors, not at all. The opposite is true. I just have no clue who these people could be. It's quite flattering to know that people from areas of the world I've never even been to actually bother to read the drivel I post on here. Ahhhh, nice feeling. But still.... who are you, and how did you happen upon my blog? I would honestly love to know your story :)

To everyone else: take a look at the live traffic feed panel on the left side showing where you're from. Your location shows up immediately. Kinda creepy, no? It's an interesting experiment though, I encourage you to add it as a feature to your blog, as you never know just who could be reading your posts.

PS - Mandie, I know you added it and then deleted it because it freaked you out, so this is for everyone else :)

"You know, from that movie... 'The Sopranos' "

2008-04-27T01:23:00.005-04:00

Right now Luke is fast asleep downstairs in his living room. I am currently wide awake, suffering from insomnia, and feeling the need to blog my lil' heart out.

I should say something. I have noted in previous posts that I enjoy creeping other people's blogs. This is very, very true, and I have decided to start commenting on some of said random blogger's posts. I tend to browse around friends' blogs and inevitably end up browsing the blogs of THEIR friends, so creepy or not, if I comment on a post of yours we probably have mutual friends. Besides, I quite like getting to know people. People are rad. So say 'hi' back. :)

Tomorrow I'm heading to church alonnnnnnne. Luke has to play drums at WMB which means a hellishly early morning for him followed by not one but TWO services. I go to the 2nd service. I don't feel too bad for him however, because I get to luxuriate in the comfort of his bed, which is known to most as THE SOPRANO. Apparently when he went to the bed store with Caleb (which is a highly funny story in itself) to look for a bed the salesman tried promoting one particular bed by noting its unique name: THE SOPRANO. "You know, like from that movie, The Sopranos". Oh how I wish I could have been there. Anyway, THE SOPRANO is incredibly, mind-blowingly comfortable. The main problem I encounter when sleeping in THE SOPRANO is being able to get out of it in the morning. Quite difficult. If you're thinking of bed shopping anytime in the near future I recommend a far less comfortable bed for the sake of your job and for your schedule. Besides, sometimes I sleep SO soundly in it that I wake up with a painful neck because I didn't move once during the night out of extreme comfort.

Thank you. To THE SOPRANO I now go. For those of you WMB'ers I shall see you tomorrow at la iglesia. (Late service, DUH)

Random Acts of.... Crazy.

2008-04-23T13:31:00.003-04:00

I have been lying low as of late. Waiting for the next big steps in my life to occur. I can't do anything to hurry them along so the best I can do is just sit back and enjoy the calm before the storm. This weekend I will be moving a lot of stuff to the various places I will be living in the next 2 months. I am currently paying rent already on my future house in Waterloo, and I am about to move into the home of my coworker Heather. I decided not to leave my job until the end of June to be fair to my wonderful coworkers who panicked when I said I would be leaving. Even though my job consists of mostly filing and paperwork I am apparently going to be difficult to replace. Or at least, this is what I've been told... maybe to bribe me into staying longer? Who knows.... who cares. Anyway, this decision of mine has led to me living in 2 places at once, which will be really expensive but nothing short of an adventure. Heather has 3 daughters, two of them are teens and one is younger. I am really looking forward to living at their house. :)

When I finally move to Waterloo the great JOB SEARCH will then begin. I am not too worried this time around because I now have about 4 years of office experience under my belt. Looking online at the job postings most positions require 2-4 years experience, so I think I'm set. I just really can't stand the process of putting myself out there hoping to be seen as adequate enough to hire on. Gets exhausting after awhile. I hope God sets things up in my favor, if that's how He does things.

In my state of lying low, I've been up to some random stuff. I have been watching a lot of A&E's Intervention online. Fascinating show, check it out on Google video. Also I have gotten into the habit of getting up in the middle of the night to eat food. This habit is a terrible, terrible habit. I am certainly not hungry at 4 AM but for some reason I HAVE to eat food. Usually cereal or fruit or donuts (gluten free). Ugh. I'm packin' on the pounds and it needs to stop. Luckily this gluttonous habit has been partially balanced out by the fact that I am consistently going to ballet classes. I've been loving them a lot even if I sweat the most out of everyone in the class. The teacher keeps calling me a hard worker so at least the sweating makes me look good in some remote way.

Anyway, that's about all I've got for now. When the madness begins I will post more updates and possibly pictures.

Ahhh life.

2008-04-16T09:59:00.005-04:00

I'm loving a lot of things right now. Life is good. Spring is here. I wanted to make a list of everything I love lately... in alphabetical order (because I'm organized like that)

Anticipation
Browsing random blogs
Calling George Michael (cat) "Binky"
Crime fiction
Days off paired with amazing weather
Getting back in shape by taking ballet again after years of not going
Getting the giggles in church
Girl talks
Keeping my bedroom tidy
Luke
Luke's family
My family
New (to me) clothes and clothing exchanges
New houses in Waterloo
Puns
Seeing friends happy and in love and getting married
Soft-serve vanilla ice cream
Solitaire
Sour Nerds (by the jumbo boxful)
Stupid jokes
Sunshine
Surprises
"The Hills" episodes on mtv.ca
The new Starbucks 3 blocks from my house
The reintroduction of flipflops
Waking up in the middle of the night to play Solitaire and eat cereal
Yoga pants

Many Statuses.

2008-04-09T22:19:00.002-04:00

Every time I update my status on Facebook I wish there could be the option of posting more than one status at a time. I always have a hard time picking which status I am feeling most. Tonight I think my post will be simply a list of all the statuses I could put on Facebook right now... which is rather convenient seeing as how it's been so long that I've posted, no one knows what I've been up to or how I've been feeling:

Annie is ... happy she had today off.

Annie.... misses Luke, who had to go to Germany for a week on a work training thingy.

Annie is... really loving the show Intervention lately.

Annie... went to ballet class last night for the first time in ages and is now sore as HECK.

Annie is... INSANELY HAPPY there is a new Starbucks a mere few blocks away from where she lives.

Annie is... really annoyed at the car alarm blaring nonstop outside behind her building.

Annie is... moving to Heather's house temporarily in less than a month, and then moving to Waterloo at the end of June.

Annie... still thinks George Michael (her cat) is ridiculously cute.

Annie is... realizing this post may be rather boring to the average person and has decided to stop typing now.

Back from Hiatus

2008-03-31T20:34:00.002-04:00

Wow, it's been a while since I've posted. I figure it's time for another one. I just REALLY have not felt like posting, for ages. I'm not even sure why, I guess it was a sort of 'off season'.

So, life is GREAT these days. I am feeling really happy about almost everything. I'm moving to Waterloo in the summer and finding another job, which will not be easy (HATE job hunting), but it's something I'm really excited about. It's been a long-needed very overdue change.

To be honest, I don't have all that much to talk about at the moment. I had a migraine today and had to stay home from work, and the pain is still a bit off/on. I'm gonna take it very easy tonight.... curled up in the living room watching Intervention on a&e (best station EVER) and then finishing off a John Grisham novel.

I will try to post more often, I swear!

Here it is

2008-03-03T21:00:00.003-05:00

So, I have politely been informed that I need to frigging POST ALREADY about the cruise :)

It was a really good experience, and so much was packed into the week we were gone that it's almost hard to know where to start.

We flew down to Miami from Toronto early Saturday February 16 and arrived around lunch time. We boarded the boat that afternoon. The most exciting part of this day for me was being in Miami. I'd never been to Florida before and that is a rare thing being from Ontario... just about everyone I've met here has been in Florida at least once. Plus it was exciting because of CSI Miami. And ... The First 48 (I like crime TV... hmm... a lot of crime TV is set in Miami).

When our ship pulled away from the dock it was bright and sunny and WINDY, and we got some fun pictures on the deck.

Sunday was spent "at sea". Let me tell you, I was a bit freaked out by finding myself in the middle of the ocean, no land to be seen. I didn't think this would bother me but I kept thinking of Titanic and The Poseidon Adventure (starring Fergie from the Blackeyed Peas. Extremely classy movie) and wondering what would happen if the ship sank. Oh, and sharks. I had a hard time not thinking about sharks. Oh yeah, and I had a hard time not picturing myself falling off the side of the ship and getting sucked into the propeller blades. Other than facing my irrational fears, hanging out on the ship was fun. There was a lot to do... food everywhere (including 24 hour self-serve soft icecream stations, a.k.a. HEAVEN), various lounges, decks, pools, hot tubs, stores, bars, etc.

The next day we stopped at our first island, "Half Moon Cay". This island is very tiny, and uninhabited by people (as far as I could tell). I think only cruise ships stop there. The weather was fabulous, and I got a nice burn. I was amazed by how clear and beautiful the water was. Also, how cold it was. I always thought caribbean water would be really warm, but it sort of just felt like a Canadian lake in the summer. It was still awesome though.

The next day we had another day at sea. The nights on the ship were great... after being served a luxurious meal with unlimited servings (gluten-free! the ship was great for gluten-free) we would go to see that night's show. Over the whole week we saw lots of good dancing, a hypnotist and a magic show. Oh, and a country singer, but that part wasn't a highlight.

The NEXT day we stopped in St. Thomas, one of the U.S. Virgin Islands. Aside from having a massive headache which made me horrendously nauseous and grumpy, I managed to deal with it and have one of the best days the whole week. I really loved St. Thomas, with its hills and sailboats and gorgeous view. Luke, Rebecca and I went on a kayaking/hiking/snorkeling adventure with an eco-tourism type group. It was interesting. The thing that sucked about this day was the horrible experience of having to stand in line FOREVER to go through U.S. customs on our way off the ship. It was really unorganized. Basically we had to line up with all the thousands of people on the ship, and I think about 4 people or so at a time had to go through a security check and customs with their passports and ship I.D. Not too many people were pleased with this, and apparently it isn't commonly done this way on most cruises. Overall, brilliant day though.

Next day: at sea.

Next day: San Juan, Puerto Rico. This was another highlight of the trip. We got to walk around old San Juan, which is gorgeous. We toured an old fort that had some cool history. We got ice cream from the Cold Stone Creamery (awesome). We at dinner at a beach-side cafe. I bought some cigars from the outdoor market.

The next day we stopped in Nassau, an island in the Bahamas. Apparently a lot of famous celebrity-types have houses here- Oprah, Tiger Woods, Michael Jackson, Nicolas Cage (I'm totally name-dropping right now) etc. It was a neat place to see, though we drove through areas of pretty brutal poverty to get to the beach, which was eye-opening. We had an interesting experience at the beach, sitting in front of a pimp/drug dealer, sitting beside an old American man and his 'escort', and sitting within earshot of many drunk and loud old men (tourists). We could have picked a better spot because it was a beautiful beach. We were really close to the Atlantis hotel, which has suites that go for something like $25, 000 a night. CRAZY.

The next day we arrived back in Miami. The week FLEW by. Being on a ship was fun... I didn't get seasick like I thought I would, though staff on the ship said it was one of the rockiest cruises they had experienced in a long time. A lot of other people got sick.
Oh yeah, we also got to watch the lunar eclipse on one of the top decks of the ship, which is a pretty prime place to be to watch something like that, so that was a highlight.

I had a good time on the cruise... other than occasionally feeling claustrophobic and getting sick of standing in line no matter where I went (I guess this is pretty standard for all touristy experiences) the trip was a lot of fun.

Cruuuuiissssse

2008-02-25T19:55:00.004-05:00

This will be a quick one, mostly because I think I have the flu right now and I freaking HURT, but I wanted to post some cruise pics. When I'm feeling better I'll actually write about the amazing experience :)

It's time!

2008-02-15T12:20:00.002-05:00

Okay, I reallllllly don't have much time to post because I'm on my lunch at work and would rather spend my precious minutes eating, but I'm going A-CRUISIN' tonight (well, technically tomorrow but we're leaving tonight to go to Toronto) and I'm very excited! Watch for many, many pictures upon my return.

Have a fun and not too cold of a week, everyone.

The Psychic Phenomena of Car-Naming

2008-02-11T17:18:00.000-05:00

Something I've been thinking about lately is that every car needs a good name. I've met a lot of well-named cars in my time: Aesop, Sophia Labatt, The Party Car, Carlean, Rattlesnake, Skippy and Pepsi, to name a few. These cars have all matched their names so well it seems to me a supernatural element has to be involved in the naming of a car.

You can't just pick a random name for your car when you feel like it. There seems to be a moment of truth, a "lightbulb moment", when the name for the car seems to fall from heaven. Some people try and try to name their car without success until one day the perfect name just HAPPENS. Sometimes other people will spontaneously name your car and it just fits perfectly. At other times the naming occurs in a most prophetic way.

Example: On Friday Ian, Danielle and I drove to Woodstock to spend some time with the 'rentals (parents). My mom has an old black honda accord which Ian uses from time to time, but mostly sits in front of the house all by itself. As we were driving up to the house and parking next to the honda, this thought went through Danielle's head: "I wonder what the car's name is?". Immediately after this thought entered her mind, I said out loud completely out of nowhere, "That car's name is KATE!" We all stared at each other in humble amazement at the holiness of the moment.

Is that a psychic car-naming moment or what? Danielle did not know why she wondered the name of the car at that exact moment, nor did I remember why I chose that moment to name the car. All I know is that the name KATE bubbled forth from me in a moment of profound prophetic clarity. And as we marvelled over the awesomeness of the moment, we all agreed that Kate is the perfect name for mom's little black honda; it's almost as though it had been waiting for its name to be stated aloud for years.

I wonder... is there a car-naming god up above? Where do these names come from and why do they fit so perfectly?

A part of me finds it sad that one cannot always name their car when or what they want to. I know a few sad unnamed cars out there. I just hold on to the hope that one day the car-naming god will utter forth names for these cars too.

Until then, I am very curious to hear about YOUR various car-naming experiences. Come on. I know some of you drive cars with names. Tell me how your car's name came about!

Eyucccchh.

2008-02-11T13:33:00.000-05:00

Okay. I admit it. There IS such thing as too many cinnamon hearts.

This past week I bought a little tub of them from Shopper's Drug Mart. Over the weekend I went to Woodstock and didn't bring any with me so I bought another tub of hearts from Sobey's. Basically I have been eating cinnamon hearts constantly. I was looking forward to taking a break from them at work today. Guess what Heather brought in? ... Correct. A bag of cinnamon hearts. Don't think I can just stop myself if hearts are available to me. The reality is, if they're there, I eat them.

My stomach hurts.

I can't wait to roast on a hot beach.

2008-02-07T00:30:00.000-05:00

I feel more pressure to update this blog now that I know people are consistently checking it. (Blast this live traffic feed! But I just can't make myself get rid of it...) Oh well, it's good for me... I tend to get complacent and find that I've left this un-updated for days or even weeks at a time and that's not good.

Right now we're having a massive winter storm. I love the little 'weather eye' icon at the bottom of my desktop from the Weather Network ... just a glance tells me what the temperature is in Hamilton. And it can be so dramatic... when there's a winter storm warning the icon flashes between showing the temperature and showing a red lightening bolt signifying DANGER.

I have to go see my chiropractor tomorrow. This whole chiro thing is new to me. All my life my mom said, "never go to a chiropractor... you'll end up having to go every week for the rest of your life...", so I never even thought of going to one when I had headaches and back problems. Recently when I realized I've been having consistent headaches for over 10 years I decided to just bite the bullet and give it a try. At my first visit the chiro told me to keep a "headache journal", describing the weather, what I had eaten, and a bunch of other circumstances which could possibly be related to the headaches. This made me laugh. I can picture myself curled up on my bed with a little pink diary, a heart-shaped lock on the front, writing in girlish cursive:

"Dear Diary,

You'll never guess how my head felt TODAY! It hurt soooo much. It was the absolute PITS. I sure hope I never have that kind of headache again.

Love, Annie <3 <3 <3"

Anyway, I'd better head to bed. I've been sleeply strangely lately. Last night I woke up at 3 A.M. and for some reason felt the need to get up and get a 'midnight' snack (I NEVER do this). I then sat at my computer, started shoving ginger snaps into my face, and checked my email. After a few minutes I sort of came to and realized what I was doing, and that it was only 3 in the morning. I proceeded immediately to get back in bed. So, I'd better go to bed now and hope I don't make this sleep-walking-type-thing a habit.

This is for you, Sharon

2008-02-04T17:20:00.000-05:00

This is a photo of my new hair. I took this picture of myself after I came home from the hairdresser's. Please note the doubtful and terrified expression on my face. I was pretty unsure of what to think when I came home. I like it a lot now.

While we're at it, let's have a picture post, shall we? Below is a series of photos of Luke trying to be friends with George Michael. It's too bad George Michael's game is to play hard to get. (PS - that plastic bag to the left of the cat is my precious bag of CINNAMON HEARTS!!!!!! Oh how I miss them)

Only YOU can prevent...

2008-02-03T23:58:00.000-05:00

Uhhh, yeah, I'm not sure why or how I forgot to blog about this earlier when all I could come up with to blog about was the weekend's weather, but my apartment building was actually on fire this morning!

Around 10:00 a.m. the fire alarm went off. I stayed in bed because the fire alarm goes off a LOT in this building, mostly because people are bored idiots and decide that pulling fire alarms for kicks (usually at 5 in the morning) is a really good idea. Ian was sleeping in the living room, and after about 5 minutes of the alarm blaring he decided to open the door and look out into the hallway. What he saw when he opened the door was thick, hazy rank-smelling smoke filling the air. Fire! The real thing! He promptly woke everyone else up and we proceeded to get the hell outta the building. Well, first we looked for George Michael and not finding him, left him to fight it out on his own. Horrible I know, but they say you're not supposed to 'waste time' looking for your pets if there's a fire. Anyway, as we headed down the stairs to get out, (since everyone knows you aren't supposed to use the elevator) we were dismayed to find that the smokiness was WAY worse in the stairwell. It was actually hard to breathe. We ended up getting outside okay, and stood waiting with other confused, bleary-eyed tenants. A bunch of firetrucks were parked out front, lights flashing and sirens blaring. Eventually we talked to a fireman and it turned out that someone had LIT A FIRE at the bottom of the very stairwell we escaped the building from. So, we were running toward the fire when we were escaping the building. Scary.

It ended up being not much of a big deal at all, and they let us go back inside a few minutes later, but now the hallway smells of smoke and I feel even LESS comfortable about living in this place (if that is even possible).

In closing,

"What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'U-C-K'?"
"FIRETRUCK! FIRETRUCK!"

Snowwwwwww

2008-02-03T13:10:00.000-05:00

So this weekend my brother and I decided to brave the winter storm and head to Woodstock late Friday night. It's not a long drive to Woodstock from Hamilton, only about 45 minutes, but when you're driving through a thick layer of slushy snow in the dark and the car you're in doesn't have winter tires and there's a winter storm warning and it's been snowing for a day and a half and there are cars wedged backwards in ditches along the side of the highway, scary omens of what COULD happen to you at any moment, the drive seems like it takes 3 hours. We finally got to mom's house safe and sound, expecting to meet Luke there at 8:00, but he didn't make it there until 9:00, driving from Waterloo. It was kind of a scary night but fun in the end. I sort of like the feeling of being snowed in, of not having to worry about driving anywhere for awhile, and just getting warm and cozy and watching movies (we watched Jurassic Park.... classic).

Anyway, a lot of the snow is gone from the roads so here we go, back to normal at the start of another week.

An obsession

2008-01-31T21:09:00.000-05:00

Valentine's day is one of my favourite holidays. Wanna know why? Here comes the lamest reason for anything, ever:

Cinnamon hearts.

I honestly look forward to the day these spicy, delicious little babies are sold in stores everywhere. Then I buy a giant bag of them and crunch on them like Lay's. I know it might sound nasty to you, but once I get going I can't stop. CAN'T STOP, I TELL YOU. Once when I was 14 I ate so many I threw up in the middle of the night (bright red) and had to miss church the next morning (score!). Hmmm, actually that does make it sound pretty nasty. The puking, not the missing church. Anyway, I'm eating a bunch of them right now (thank you Bulk Barn!!!) and life couldn't be better. Let's just keep our fingers crossed for no 3 A.M. dashes to the bathroom.

I just tried my darndest to get the VCR to work for, get this, THE SECRET GARDEN. I'm not even talking about the semi-good version of the story in the movie featuring Maggie Smith, who is, I swear, in every single British movie ever filmed (soon to be replaced by Cate Blanchett for being in the highest number of British movies ever). I'm talking about the early 90's Hallmark edition of the movie. I used to watch it at my Grandma's house every time I visited her. It's a pretty exciting piece of work for a kid's movie. At the beginning it shows all these people dying horrific deaths from Cholera, quite graphic, which I think could be a bit scary for a kid. I seem to remember being terrified but riveted. I recently found a copy of it at my mom's and took it home to my apartment to watch. Anyway, my trip down memory lane was cut short when the stupid VCR (or as Ian would call it, 'VHS player'...) wouldn't work. And I realllllllly doubt I'll be able to find it on ALLUC or TV Links or whatever websites have free movies these days, because who, other than me, would ever want to watch it? Sigh.

I think I'll go find something else to watch.

Oh, and I think the HLOG reallllllllllly needs an update! (Good thinking Mandie)

The countdown is ON

2008-01-27T22:56:00.000-05:00

I'm starting to get pretty excited about the cruise I'm going on in less than a month. We leave February 16. I love going away to someplace warm during the icy dead of winter... and to be honest, I haven't done a lot of this vacation kind of travelling in the winter. In 2004 I spent the month of January in Costa Rica with a team of about 13 people, working and doing ministry there. It was an amazing experience and I loved everything we did, but it definitely wasn't a luxury dream trip. Back in grade 10 I went to Guatemala for 10 days in March and again, it was an incredible experience but not a VACATION experience. So, now that I'm headed to the eastern caribbean for a 1 week cruise, I gotta say I'm pretty pumped. Only 20 more dayyyyyys!

Ahhhhhhhhh

2008-01-26T02:04:00.000-05:00

Is it weird that I'm freaking out from paranoia because my friends list is decreasing in number on Facebook???!

Today is a Guinea Pig day.

2008-01-24T13:28:00.000-05:00

Why? Because I have a neck headache, and long talks with Sharon have led me to plan for a day like this by purchasing muscle relaxants. Today I'm testing them out on myself. I took 2 this morning and so far all they've done is make my stomach SICK ... it feels like one giant knot. Hopefully they work eventually. In the meantime a-chiropractoring I will go. Well, a week from today anyway, but hopefully that visit prevents more days like this in the future.

Last week I ended up getting a haircut... a lot shorter, kind of a shoulder-length bob, to be worn straight. I also dyed it a nice rich brown. I have yet to post pictures because, though I like the cut, I'm a bit undecided about how I feel about the bangs. I've never really had bangs before, and I'm not really 'gelling' with them very well. Ha-ha. Get it? Gelling... hair gel.... ahhhhhhh haha. Sorry.

One thing I've noticed about dramatic haircuts is that people are never quite sure what to say to you when they see you. I've had a couple people say they really like my new hair, but the most common reaction I seem to get is, "You got a haircut!!!!............", (pause pause pause pause pause). I almost want to say, "SOOOO, what do you think?", but then the person is put in an awkward position if they don't like it.

Oh well. I like it. :)

Blogger finally remembers me.

2008-01-21T22:16:00.000-05:00

In celebration of this, I will post a photo which has made me laugh unreasonably and at great length:

That is all.

Another adventurous few days in the life of Annie

2008-01-20T21:45:00.000-05:00

Okayyyyy, it's almost the start of another week of WORK. This past week I was off sick for a few days... I thought I had recovered and then, nope, I was definitely sick again. This involved me puking in the garbage can at work and then promptly getting sent home by my boss in a cab afterwards. Fun fun.

Getting the winter sickness over with is definitely a relief, at least. I'm thankful I didn't have the horrendous head cold everyone else seemed to come down with. Head colds aren't super, especially when they keep you up all night and you can't breathe.

So, I think this goes along with what I wrote earlier about needing to re-think my blog: I think I'm having some sort of early mid-life crisis, or something of that sort of thing. I know, I'm only 24... but still, I think my identity is needing some serious evaluation. Maybe it's because I've been stuck in the same job for a few years and I haven't done much, but I am in massive need of some CHANGE. I can't do what I'm doing forever, and I am really starting to feel that. Plus, Hamilton isn't the place I want to live in forever either. Don't get me wrong... I'm not one of those haters who can't stand Hamilton, I just don't think I'm living to my full potential in this city. Why should I live someplace that I never planned to live in the first place, and only ended up doing so by default because of family? Really. I think a move in the not-so-distant future is in order. I will keep you all updated.

In other news, I am newly addicted to the TV show Gossip Girl. Yes. Have I blogged about this before? It is sounding vaguely familiar. Anyway, free online video sites have sucked me in to the shallow world of Gossip Girl. Oh, and online tabloid news feeds. I feel ridiculous with these choices, but hey, they're addictions... one doesn't usually get addicted to classy things, right? Sometimes I just like relaxing into something fun and mindless, like crappy teen television. Aaaaahhh.

Before I go, I must just add that for some reason my computer area smells like wet dog. It really is bothering me. What the heck do I have that smells like wet dog? I don't know.

Inventory

2008-01-17T20:20:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted in a little while because I have been re-thinking my blog. When I started blogging I kind of used it as an outlet, a place to put my thoughts out there ... and basically to just write what I wanted to. I've noticed that over the past little while my blog has become sort of an update-y diary type blog, and I'm not so sure I'm a big fan of that. The stuff I write is a bit dry, and definitely too 'safe'. Every time I start typing out a new post, I feel scared that I could be judged negatively by the people who read this.

I was looking back over the archives of my past 3 years of blogging (yes, almost 3 whole years!) and for awhile there I was writing stuff I really wanted to write. Stuff I had on my heart, random personal rants, even poetry. Now for some reason I feel stupid putting that stuff out there for all of you to read. I don't know why, but now I feel more vulnerable.

I'm not too sure what I want to do with this blog. Maybe I'll just bite the bullet and start writing what I want to write, whether I'm judged for it or not. We'll see.

:)

Updates and such

2008-01-07T18:28:00.000-05:00

Whelp, I really haven't updated in awhile. Let's see. What's new with me?

I had a terrific Christmas break, though of course it flew by and I could have used wayyy more time off. I spent some time in Kinkerdeen (ha) with Luke's family playing board games, going for icy cold winter walks, eating a lot of delicious food and watching cheesy Christmas movies (Who knew there was a For Better or For Worse holiday special about a stuffed bunny?). Christmas day and the days after it were spent in Woodstock with Ian and the parents, trying to relax with 3 cats and a very hyper puppy in one house. It was madness.

New year's was spent back in Kincardine with friends of Luke's and other friends of the Allens. The highlight of the night was when we tried the old "Mentos and Diet Coke" stunt, causing a mini-geyser in the back yard. It really worked! I really, really didn't think it would. Amazing. All you do is pour a package of Mentos into a bottle of Diet Coke and it instantly starts spraying foamy, minty Diet Coke everywhere. Check out Facebook for the video.

Now that all the holiday madness is over I am back to work, which of course is a huge drag after the freedom of doing whatever I wanted for over a week.

Actually it's not all bad, because now I have the CRUISE to look forward to in February!

Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow.

2007-12-24T11:39:00.000-05:00

It wasn't supposed to snow this Christmas, at least this is what we were originally told. Rain, 10 degrees. This is what I was expecting. Last night in Woodstock we had "snowsqualls", and this morning there was a foot of snow on our driveway. This makes me very happy.

The house is empty except for the dog, cats and I. I was thinking of getting some more Christmas shopping done today (I know, I know it's the 24th) but after some thought I have concluded that no, I am actually done shopping. Now is the time to relax and enjoy the holidays. I am finding it a bit hard to dial down, though. It's hard to relax after a hectic few weeks.

I think I might go bake something.

Happy Holidays, everyone.