Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother

I recently read this book by Amy Chua, a Chinese-American woman who teaches law at Yale University. The book is a memoir about the parenting methods she has used in raising her two daughters Lulu and Sophia, now approximately 15 and 18 years old.


Chua was raised as a first-generation American by highly successful Chinese parents who expected great things of her and her 3 sisters. Chua "defied" her father by applying to and attending Harvard University instead of going to Berkeley, the school he had chosen for her, at which he is a highly-regarded professor of electrical engineering.

Chua met and married Jed Rubenfeld, an author who has written several books and is also currently a professor at Yale Law. When Chua and Rubenfeld had their children, they decided to parent the girls the "Chinese way" by Chua and raise them to be Jewish by Rubenfeld.

The book tackles the topic of strict "Chinese" parenting versus relaxed "Western" parenting. Chua demanded that her children achieve straight A's (an A- was unacceptable), play either classical violin or classical piano, and generally achieve higher success than other children their age. She did not allow her daughters to attend sleepovers, join any "unnecessary" extracurriculars that might have distracted them from their music or schoolwork, or to pursue other hobbies for the same reason. She insisted they practice their music at least 3 hours a day (even on holidays abroad) and to study just as hard for school.

Here is a list of things Sophia and Lulu were NOT allowed to do (quoted directly from the book):

• attend a sleepover
• have a playdate
• be in a school play
• complain about not being in a school play
• watch TV or play computer games
• choose their own extracurricular activities
• get any grade less than an A
• not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama
• play any instrument other than the piano or violin
• not play the piano or violin.

Chua shares many anecdotes in which she shouts at her daughters and pushes them so hard they are driven to tears. She demands perfect work from them and pronounces anything she considers less than perfect to be worthless. In one story she angrily refuses to accept homemade birthday cards from her daughters because they "look as though they were hastily made in 30 seconds and could be way better if more of an effort had been made". (Paraphrased by me.)

Though it is clear that Chua may have been overly harsh with her daughters, they have both become highly successful. Sophia made her piano debut at Carnegie Hall at age 14. Lulu has similarly stunned international audiences with her mastery of the violin. On top of that, both girls have maintained straight A's in every class at school every year.

As the story progresses, Chua describes how her classic first-born Sophia seemed to thrive under her strict method of parenting. Lulu, however, ended up rebelling and angrily fighting her mother. We discover that she now no longer pursues the violin to the same degree and instead has turned her focus to other things, like tennis.

Towards the end of the book, Chua seems to gradually change her mind about "Chinese" parenting as Lulu stubbornly resists her demands and all hell breaks loose within the family. Chua finally comes to the conclusion that each child is different and requires a custom approach in order to reach the best of their ability. As she reaches this realization her relationship with Lulu does a 180 and the dynamic within the family dramatically improves.

Reading the book, I surprisingly felt conflicted in how I felt about Chua. I fully expected to hate her for being so "mean" to her kids. Plenty of the situations Chua shared made me uncomfortable and even angry; I found myself mentally yelling at her for some of the choices she made, and I even felt personally affronted at times. Ultimately though, oddly enough, I began to realize that I might just admire Chua after all.

Here's why. I have always felt that a gentle approach is crucial in raising a confident, secure child. I strongly disagree with those who spank their children and I have shameful childhood memories of being treated badly by various people of authority in my life, ie: teachers or church leaders. (Don't worry Mom and Dad, I'm not talking about you.) My plan has always been to treat my children with respect and to allow them to explore their own interests on their own terms. I've always felt that it's impossible for a person to tap into any talent or creativity they have unless that person is deeply self-motivated.

As I thought harder about the book, however, I began to reflect upon my own life. From the time I was a very little girl I was passionate about ballet. I begged my mother to let me take lessons when I was 5 years old. I started lessons just before I turned 6, and I stayed in lessons for several years. As I got a bit older, I began to lose some interest in ballet. It wasn't "cool" at the time the way it seems to be now. I had classmates and friends who made fun of me for liking ballet. I began to feel bored by it and resentful that it took up a lot of my time. I fantasized about not having to do anything or go anywhere on the nights I had class. I expressed this to my mom and at first she was hesitant about letting me quit. She insisted, "You'll regret it when you're older." I told her I didn't care, that it was my life, that I preferred to quit. Eventually I wore her down and she let me stop going.

Many years went by and I tried a variety of other things: gymnastics, Irish dance, tennis, flute, clarinet and basketball. I quickly lost interest in each of those things as I didn't have any real passion for them. During all of those years, I felt a nagging ache of regret for giving up ballet. It was definitely a pain to have to take classes, or to have to be disciplined about it, but I began to suspect that it just may have been worth it had I stuck with it.

Eventually I started taking ballet again, but by this time it was too late to really be invested in it. I was too old to do anything real with dance and though I enjoyed being in that world again, realistically I knew it was just something to do. At this point I felt deep regret at not sticking with ballet. I even felt annoyed that my parents weren't tougher with me even though I was the one begging to quit at the time.

My parents were great to me when I was young; they absolutely encouraged me to pursue my dreams and they made me feel that I could accomplish anything I wanted to. The problem was, they didn't get really tough with me. They didn't push me to see the importance of sticking with something that could pay off later in life. They were too easy on me, and because of that I ended up quitting something I could have been successful at! While reading Chua's memoir I began to realize that maybe I needed someone to force me into something I didn't care much about at the time. I needed strict discipline and someone to call me on my laziness.

As a result, I think I've changed my mind (somewhat) about parenting. Obviously each child needs a custom approach according to their unique personality, but honestly? Kids don't know what's important in life when they're 10 years old. Kids don't understand that persisting with ballet, violin, tennis, whatever, can open doors later on and shape them into incredibly accomplished people. Sometimes kids need to be pushed, and pushed hard!

I don't want to be harsh with my children, but I want them to come to a full realization of their potential. Unfortunately this means being relentless with them at times. Life isn't easy, and being accomplished at something doesn't just happen on its own. This is an opinion Chua maintains throughout her entire book: being forceful with your children and pushing them hard shows them you strongly believe in their capabilities. Not accepting anything less than their best communicates that you believe your child is brilliant. It says, "I know you are incredibly smart. I believe you are capable of being highly successful. I don't want you to get used to producing less than what you are potentially capable of producing." It takes a lot of parental pressure to get your child to keep going when boredom strikes and that child has no way of fully grasping what life will be like 10 years down the road.

I don't completely buy the tough love parenting style however, and evidently, neither does Chua by the end of her journey. Unfortunately she has received a lot of criticism from "Western" parents who have accused her of being an awful mother. What these critics fail to see is that Chua wrote her memoir (yes, MEMOIR, not "how-to manual") to communicate that being demanding of her children was crucial to their success, while at the same time listening to them and supporting them in other ways is equally important. I believe Chua does regret some things she's put her daughters through, but she also stands by the value of her "Chinese" approach. I think I agree with her.

I hope Chua's critics look deeper into the book and read into the subtle wistfulness she reveals because she took the wrong approach with Lulu. In the end it is apparent that she still values strictness and placing high standards on children, but that flexibility is also important.

As well as being thought-provoking, the book is sharp, witty and pleasantly full of humour. Chua manages to poke fun at herself and be unapologetic about her choices at the same time. As much of a task-master as she is in the stories, she is actually pretty hilarious. I highly recommend this book!

Busy...ish? I think?

I'm beginning to understand moms who stay home all day and complain they never have enough time to do anything. And I only have one child! It's amazing how when I get up in the morning, every time I look at the clock several hours have flown by. Sylvan doesn't sleep very often during the day, and when he does he tends to take short cat-naps. It's incredibly hard to do simple things like laundry or cleaning up the kitchen, when 30 seconds into my task I hear a little voice screaming for food, a diaper change, wanting to be held.... who knows what!

I'm not complaining though, when my little guy cries I generally get a chance to watch something on Netflix or hang out in the living room with a snack while I care for him. Could be worse. :)

Sylvan is over a month old already... I realized that the other day. It's true - time does fly by so quickly it hardly seems possible. We've noticed he has started looking around a lot more... it is obvious he can see a bit further than before and he intently studies certain objects. He can follow an object with his eyes, and he is so alert when he's awake.

He has officially started smiling responsively, though not very often yet ... I will try uploading a video I took yesterday proving this! You'll also get to hear my RIDICULOUS (but funny) baby-talk voice. Maybe Sylvan cries and fusses a lot for a reason???

He has what seems to me like a very strong neck... lying on his tummy he can lift his head (quite aggressively) and hold it up for a few seconds before it bobs back down.

He seems big to me, but I'm not sure what he weighs now or where he's at on the scale of what's average for babies his age. It doesn't really matter to me though, as long as he's healthy and likes my kisses :)

Last week we had the opportunity to have my friend Claire over to take newborn photos of Sylvan. Claire is an amazing photographer and I was ecstatic with the results of the photo shoot. It made me realize how crappy my point and shoot camera is because Sylvan looks a lot different in my photos from her photos! It also helps that she is very talented... and takes photos for a living... and has an amazing camera... but Luke and I would like to invest in a much better camera than the cameras we've been using. What better reason to take photos than a brand new baby, and a cute one at that?

Anyway, I'll try uploading that video... and maybe a couple photos too.

Baby-Crying Survival 101

When you're caring for a small baby who likes to cry a lot, you begin to find that you begin to try anything, EVERYTHING, to make this baby stop screaming. I have noticed that I've started doing strange things without even realizing it.

I talk a lot when it's just Sylvan and I in the house; I've found that the sound of people talking seems to calm him down a bit. I have conversations with him, with myself, with the TV, with things in the fridge, with clothing and with furniture. Anything to make soothing talking noise.

A lot of songs become lullabies. Traditional lullabies, definitely, but also any other song stuck in my head that could be modified slightly to sound like a lullaby. Songs I have sung to Sylvan lullaby-fashion include:

Carry On My Wayward Son - Kansas (sung verrrrrrrry slowly and soothingly)

D'yer Mak'er - Led Zeppelin (sung very happily)
Bicycle Race - Queen
Summertime - Ella Fitzgerald and Louis Armstrong (this is the version I picture in my head)
Any Christmas carol

I've also learned that I am one of those mothers who uses sickly-sweet sentimental nicknames for her child. I have referred to Sylvan as "Honey", "Sweetie", "Precious", "Teensy Baby", "Schnookums", and list goes on.


On an even stranger note Luke and I have come up with some pretty random made-up nicknames for our little guy. I'm not entirely sure where a lot of the names have come from. Some of the more popular ones we've used are, "Mister Baby", "Bee", "Honey-Bee", "Poopy" (this is a new one I've started using. I should stop), and "Mister Fussy". Actually, any of the Mr. Men names have been used interchangeably depending on the situation.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, the crying increases to a fever-pitch. We usually end up prancing bouncily around the kitchen holding Sylvan up to our chests, cooing "Baby! Baaaaaby! Mister Baby!".

Yes, I have witnessed Luke prancing.

The prancing is sometimes necessary... helps get the burps up. Sylvan's burps that is.

Ahhh yes, how life with a baby has changed us!

Life as we know it ... now

I realized a second ago how long it's been since I last blogged. Sylvan is now 3 1/2 weeks old, and I can't believe how quickly time is flying by! Actually, time has been going by slowly AND quickly, if that makes sense.

We've been having very VERY long nights. Sylvan seems to think he should be bright-eyed and bushy-tailed from midnight until sometime around 4 am to 6 am, and fast asleep all day. This wouldn't be so hard to deal with except for the fact that he likes to scream his head off while he's awake. Not easy to deal with in the middle of the night. We've heard it said, "sleep when the baby sleeps!" but that is easier said than done when there are things to do during the day and it's bright outside. I am not a good nap person as I always feel like it's impossible to sleep during the day. I've been able to get a few naps in here and there so I don't feel too over-tired, but this has still been quite the ordeal. If Sylvan is colicky we're hoping he grows out of it. If he's not colicky, we're hoping we figure out why he likes to scream all night. Sigh!

Things have gotten a lot better for me since the beginning. At first I was really weak physically as I had lost so much blood. I looked pale all the time and felt shaky and light-headed just getting up from the couch. I have tons more energy now, and I feel a lot better too since my stitches have had a chance to heal. It's amazing how much difference feeling physically well can make on your general outlook.

We had a few feeding issues as well and I am now mostly bottle-feeding Sylvan with expressed breast milk. I had a really hard time accepting this but I'm thankful he is at least getting breast milk and not formula. I'm choosing to pick my battles... one of the things I'll have to get used to doing a lot more now that I'm a parent!

We have really enjoyed using cloth diapers and the diaper service has really made life a lot easier. I occasionally use disposable diapers when I have to go out during the day but we almost always use cloth. I can't imagine having to wash them myself though!

Now that Luke is back to work after taking several weeks off we are trying to get into a routine. We had my dad and his partner Val staying with us for a week over the holidays, so Sylvan wasn't born at the greatest time for a routine to be set, as fun as the holidays were! It feels a little like a let-down for me now that the holidays have come and gone and the party is over. But a routine will be good for us.

Speaking of 'let-down', breastfeeding has sure change my perspective on the lyrics of a few songs... I can't help but giggle now when I hear certain songs like "Pump it" by the Blackeyed Peas, for example... or "Beautiful Letdown" by Switchfoot. Heh heh heh.

Introducing Sylvan William!

Well, as most of you know, our little Sylvan was born last week! He was born at 7:31 am on Thursday December 16 after 27 hours of labour. He weighed in at 8 lbs 11 oz and 21 inches long. Or as Luke likes to say: Sylvan is 1'9" ... ha ha.

Here's the birth story (if you so dare to read it):

On December 14th, I had to go in to the hospital for some tests to be assessed as Sylvan was about a week overdue at that point. His heart rate was monitored and I had an ultrasound done. The ultrasound was fine, but the non-stress test to measure his heart rate showed the heart rate wasn't as consistent or strong as it should be. My midwife had an obstetrician assess me, and he suggested I be induced the next day. I really didn't want to be induced so I had a little cry-fest but then realized being induced would be better than having a C-section. We went home and got our hospital bags ready.

Early on December 15th I woke up feeling like I was having some mild contractions. I called the hospital to see what time I should come in to be induced and they said they were having a really busy day and they wouldn't be able to induce me that day (I was told this might happen). I had a feeling I was already in labour anyway so I was pretty excited to be told this and to be given the chance to have labour start on its own.

I had to go to the hospital again anyway that morning for another non-stress test, and while they were measuring Sylvan's heart rate they also hooked me up to a monitor to measure for contractions. I was having contractions about 7-10 minutes apart at that point and they were very mild.

I went home with instructions to rest and then to take a long walk to get labour pumping along.

When we got home I tried to lie down and rest but the contractions seemed to get a lot stronger fairly quickly. I came downstairs and Luke and I started timing them. Later that afternoon after my mom came over, my contractions were at 5 minutes apart for at least 1 minute in duration and we decided to call the midwife. She came over and we all hung out, keeping track of the contractions as I worked at coping through each one with the techniques I had learned in our prenatal classes. She checked my dilation and found I was dilated to 5 cm.

We kept hanging out. A few hours later my contractions were really strong and getting to feel very painful. It must have been around 11 pm by this point. I ended up throwing up because of the pain and my coping techniques were starting to feel less effective. The midwife checked my dilation and found that I was still dilated to 5 cm and that I hadn't progressed at all.

When she told me I hadn't progressed, my immediate reaction was "screw natural labour and a home birth, I want to go to the hospital!" ... I didn't feel disappointed by this decision and the midwife was in support of it as well.

We went to the hospital and got me checked in and situated in a labour room. The contractions were so intense I was starting to lose it as I didn't know what to do anymore to cope. I had to change into a gown and lie down on the hospital bed and that did not make matters any better as the only thing helping me by then seemed to be walking around to get through each contraction.

I was able to get a shot of morphine to help me relax between each contraction. It barely took the edge off the intensity of each contraction though I did feel a little more relaxed.

Finally the anesthetist was able to give me an epidural. At this point I didn't care that I hadn't originally wanted one when I had put together my birth plan. I felt panicked that my body wasn't progressing and the sharpness and relentlessness of each contraction was making me feel crazy! The epidural felt like heaven to me, and it wasn't as numbing in my legs as I expected it to be. I was able to relax and sleep for a few hours. Luke and my mom had to try and sleep in some very uncomfortable chairs during this time, so I commend them for being such troopers! I was also given some oxytocin to augment my labour and help me progress.

A few hours after my epidural the nurse checked me and I was STILL only dilated to 5 cm. At that point I started feeling panicked again because I was starting to feel some pain during the contractions. I told the nurse this and she checked the epidural and told me it was still working. I tried to sleep again.

Another couple hours later I started feeling a lot of pressure low down. I told the nurse, she checked me, and found I was fully dilated! She told me I could start pushing. Luke woke up to see they already had me pushing and hadn't let him know! He got up too quickly and almost passed out.

This part gets a little nasty, so if you get grossed out easily you can stop reading :)

As I started pushing, I started feeling intense, sharp pain on one side of my abdomen. The nurse again checked my epidural and found it was still working. Annnnnd then I started hemorrhaging... and to make a long story short, the OB came in, found the Sylvan's head was cranked to the side, thus causing me to tear and bleed and feel pain in that one spot. This was why my labour hadn't progressed well earlier.

The OB discussed with me the possibility of turning Sylvan's head with forceps. I wasn't feeling too excited about that because I heard forceps usually cause a lot more tearing, but at this point I sort of just wanted Sylvan out of there in with us in the real world... and for the pain to stop! The OB ended up just turning Sylvan's head manually, and in a few short pushes, out popped Sylvan! It happened a lot sooner than I expected it would once I started pushing.

It was all very emotional and wonderful when he was born. He scored a 9/10 on the apgar, because his hands and feet were a little blue... but he was breathing well and doing great otherwise. It was great to have my mom there too and she was the first family member to see Sylvan which was special for her.

We were able to discharge from the hospital later that same day. Since I had lost quite a bit of blood I was feeling really weak and shaky and I was white a sheet. Also as you can imagine I wasn't feeling too comfortable :) But we were happy to be able to go home as we knew we would feel so much more relaxed at home.

Since then we've definitely had some challenges as far as feeding goes, but every day has been getting better and we are starting to get used to being parents. Crazy to think we have a son!

Couldn't have said it better myself!

Thanks to my friend Kristi who posted this link on my Facebook wall... it really sums up how I'm feeling! And it's hilarious!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m_I25dS-_W4

(Youtube wouldn't let me link it directly)

40 Weeks

No captions necessary really.

Last check-up... hopefully?

I will officially be at 40 weeks gestation tomorrow... my baby, that is, not me... I was born over 27 years ago! Ha...... Ha ha!

(Don't worry, you're not the only one who just rolled your eyes... I did too.)

I saw my midwife today and she did the first internal exam I've had this pregnancy. Apparently I'm dilated to 1 cm only, which doesn't seem like much but she said how much I've dilated to date doesn't necessarily indicate how soon I'll go into labour. It "could" still happen at any time. She did book an ultrasound for next week just in case I start to go overdue, in which case they will check to see if the placenta is still healthy and do a non-stress test to see how my lil' guy is holding up in there. I'm hoping I won't have to go to that appointment, but if I don't end up going into labour between now and then I may as well just enjoy this time Luke and I have together alone before our lives change forever!

If I go overdue beyond a week and a half they start to look into potentially getting me set up for a medical induction at the hospital. I would REALLY like to avoid this, as I feel that one intervention like that will lead to another, and I don't want to end up doing the whole epidural/pain medication thing. I know it won't be the end of the world if I have to, but I would just like to avoid that scenario if possible.



PS - how come nobody told me the internal exam FRIGGING KILLS LIKE THE DICKENS? This may be an overshare but I was NOT anticipating how freaking uncomfortable it would be! Holy moly! I was sort of wanting a stretch and sweep but now I'm glad she didn't do it, because, GEEZ, I am still hurting from the simple internal exam alone.

I might need a little wine when labour gets going... yes, that sounds divine to me!

A little Before and After

Amazing what a big difference a year and a bit can make....

August 1, 2009

December 1, 2010 (at 39 Weeks)

While I'm posting pictures, I may as well make this a photo post!



Luke and I at work making gingerbread men a few days ago (not gluten free... sorry Mandie... but you'll notice we wore the aprons you made??!)

I was delighted to get a package in the mail today from my Aunt Sandra and Uncle Al in Vancouver ... they sent some adorable onesies, a hat with ears (how did you know I can't resist any hats with ears??) and a Taggies book. I was particularly excited about the Taggies book because I had just heard of them recently and actually went in search of one at Chapter's a couple weeks ago. I didn't look hard enough to find one but I'm told they are for sale there.

Taggies books are made with the idea that babies tend to love the tags on toys and books more than the items themselves, so each page of the cloth book has little tags sewn on for baby to chew while "reading"... how cute is that?

Thanks Robertsons!

Here is a glimpse of ______'s completed nursery. It's hard to get a full shot of the whole room but this is the best I could do. Everything is set and now we're just waiting for baby to arrive :)

Christmas... and Ina May - My freakin' Hero

I had a dream a couple nights ago that one of my blog readers confronted me, telling me I update way too often, and that my entries are way too long! So I've been feeling a little self-conscious about posting as much as I have... therefore, I took a break for a few days.

When it comes to blogging, what can I say? When I'm home all day there's not much else to do! I get excited to share things! :)

Lately I've also been taking a break from thinking too much about the baby getting here. I found I was stressing myself out a little by constantly thinking about what it will be like when we bring the baby home and what will be stressful and the potential problems that might come up.

Instead, I've been getting into the Christmas spirit - listening non-stop to one of the classic Christmas channels on iTunes, very festive. Luke and I made gingerbread men the other night, and I've been eating a LOT of clementines and candy canes! I wanted to get a tree this past weekend but Luke thinks it'll dry out before Christmas gets here, so I think we'll go get our tree this coming weekend. We switched our fall wreath on our front door to our cranberry red Christmas wreath, and we strung garland around the banister going up the stairs. I love how just a few decorations can change how the house feels. Our next order of business is to buy some poinsettias for the coffee table and dining room table. Exciting!

I haven't been shutting the idea of childbirth out completely though. I've been reading the incredible book "Spiritual Midwifery" by Ina May Gaskin whenever I sit down to relax (which is ... pretty much constantly).

My friend Claire recommended it to me when we got together a few weeks ago and I was expressing my fears about labour/birth to her (she has a background in midwifery). She did warn me that it is written by a midwife who worked (and still works) on a hippie commune called "The Farm" in Tennessee, so the birth stories in the book are a little far out, but as I got into reading the various stories I felt myself begin to calm down and feel actual peace about labour.

All the women who give birth in the stories have natural, drug-free home births, and the way they cope with the intensity of labour is to focus on how our bodies are designed for this process, and to view it as a positive experience, not a painful one. For example, they never say 'contractions'... they call them 'rushes'. They focus on seeing them as highly intense rushes of energy working to get your baby out. They teach you how to not think of labour as painful but as intense and extremely high-energy. They also recommend a lot of creative coping techniques to help you "stay on top of each rush" when it feels painful.

A lot of the women in the book talk about "getting high" during labour, meaning, having an incredible emotional rush of "consciousness" in such an intense situation... and they talk a lot about being "telepathic" with the midwives or their partners or whoever else is in the room, so if you're not used to that kind of talk it can be a little weird at first! For the most part I found it calming, and it was a huge relief to finally hear people talking about labour and delivery in a positive light.

Ina May Gaskin has been revolutionary in changing the North American perspective of child birth from being considered a medical emergency to something our bodies are designed to do with very few interventions required.






Check out the incredible statistics from The Farm's 2028 births: (From 1970-2000)

Pretty amazing considering a good portion of those births were breech babies, VBACs and babies with other complications usually requiring C-section almost everywhere else.

Not many other hospitals or birthing centres in North America will deliver statistics like this, and I'm perfectly content to go with the flow for my own labour and delivery at the hospital, but it is calming to know what our bodies are capable of. I'm told that when I'm in labour and reaching transition (the most intense part before you start pushing) I may feel like I won't be able to continue or even that I'm dying (!!!) ... so I'm hoping to remember some of the encouraging things I've read in Spiritual Midwifery to help carry me through!

If you're curious, here are some links to info about Ina May Gaskin and The Farm:

Wikipedia article about Ina May

The Farm Midwives

Ina May's official website

38 Weeks... Didn't know I could get any bigger!

Apparently I can... and I will continue to! Unless baby __________ decides to just chill out in there and avoid putting on any more poundage between now and birth. Doubtful.

So I am 38 weeks pregnant as of yesterday. I am still enjoying the pregnancy and I'm not in a huge rush for _______ to get here. I'm sure I'll get more antsy as time goes by, but for now I'm content to relax and enjoy the anticipation of his birth. And all this time to myself, of course.

My Braxton-Hicks continue, especially later in the evening and all through the night. I'll wake up and attempt to roll over but it has gotten REALLY difficult to accomplish this! Poor Luke... he is such a light sleeper, and even with earplugs any slight movement will wake him up. Actually at this point "any slight movement" is more likely similar to a whale thrashing around for 5 minutes on our Queen-sized bed than anything else. So, every time I attempt to roll over, there he is, wide awake. Maybe this is a good time to campaign for a memory foam mattress...!? I think so!

Today one of my midwives came to my house for my weekly check-up. LOVE that aspect of midwifery care! Now she knows how to get to my house when the big day comes. I am so happy I chose a midwife simply for the reason that when my contractions start, rather than hem and haw and try and decide whether to go to the hospital or not, I just page her and she comes to my house to check me. Then she'll let me know whether it's time to go to the hospital or not. SO much less stress on us! I know it's hard for me to make decisions when I'm distracted or stressed out, so this decision being handed to someone else in the comfort of my own home is a huge weight off my shoulders.

According to my midwife, my baby's weight is likely around 8 lbs right now. He has been really consistent in terms of growth week to week. His heartbeat is steady and strong, and he is very active. At my last visit he was head down but face up, which isn't a problem necessarily, but it is more ideal if the baby is head down/face down. (See illustration)

Normal position - The baby rotates slightly and comes out face down:

Apparently when delivering the head comes out much more easily if the baby is facing down (facing my spine) because then the largest part of his head doesn't need to clear the birth canal.

As of today he has spun halfway around again so he is closer to being in the most ideal position, which is great (see the 2nd illustration above). He might keep spinning until I'm in active labour so his current position could change again but I'm not worried. Most babies get into the right position during active labour anyway and end up coming out face down.

Anyway, enough illustrations of naked women and talk of birth canals!

I've been loving blogging lately. It's so much easier to do when I have free time! Before when I was working it was more of a guilt thing - I felt obliged to blog in order to please people (or attempt to please them I guess), but now I feel like I'm blogging for me and I find JOY in it.

The only issue is that I have a whole list of other blogs I follow and I get really impatient when those people don't update as often as I do! As if other people are allowed to have more of a life than me....!!!??? Geez, people. You're not ALLOWED to be busy. You must keep up with me in my blogging frequency with equal zest. No excuses.

:)

A Lady of Leisure

I am happy to report that it is Monday morning, and I am NOT hard at work ... I am at home enjoying christmas music and sipping coffee. Unless you consider that hard work...? It IS rather difficult... not knowing what to do today... sigh. :)

I DO know this won't last long. Our little guy will be here before I know it. I am enjoying the freedom while I can though! This morning I dropped Luke off at work (poor guy), got my free McDonald's coffee, bought a couple more diaper covers from a cute little store in Waterloo and now I'm at home planning out the rest of my day.

I suppose there are things that need to be done at some point... I could do a deep clean of both our bathrooms and throw in a load of laundry... hmmmm.... we'll see. Also I have some thank you cards to write. And christmas decorations to put up! I may get to all that later!

For now I'm having a great, relaxing morning. Aaaahhhhh.

Some fun stuff

I would have to say the most fun (and unnecessary) shopping I've done for baby Allen has been... the accessories. My poor, poor child. He will be receiving many of them. Probably often, and for the rest of his life. Whether he wants 'em or not.

Check out the shoes and the wicked shades I'll be putting on him as soon as he's out of the womb:

Super cute Baby Raybans... I wouldn't have known they existed, but I work at an optometry clinic and there is a whole catelog of 'em. Best discovery ever! Can't wait to prop them on his face (they're a little big).

Looooove these shoes. Thanks Auntie Robyn and Uncle Greg!

Many more adorable shoes, most of them shower gifts. Thanks to Baby Allen's various aunties for knowing how much I love baby shoes!

Can't freakin' wait!!!

PS - I sure hope he's actually a boy and not a girl... because I have absolutely NOTHING girlie purchased.

It's finally here...

... my last day of work! In a few short hours I will be embarking to work one last time before my maternity leave begins.

I thought I would feel more excited, but instead I've been more focused on the next stage of my life - giving birth to and then taking care of a baby! Go figure...?

Anyway, I'm definitely happy to be finished work as I've been feeling more uncomfortable as the days go by, but lately I've been working through a lot of fears about how much my life is about to change.

It really is pretty scary. Most of my pregnancy I've been far enough away from my due date that I've been free to just feel excitement about the baby coming our way. Now that my due date looms closer and closer reality is sinking in. The unknowns of labour and giving birth along with the upcoming lack of sleep and unknowns in caring for an infant have been on my mind.

I'm always giving advice to myself because I tend to overanalyse and overthink everything, and fortunately I seem to have a rational part of my brain that calms the other spazzy part down - and the advice I've been giving myself is:

1) Baby steps (thank you Bill Murray) - one day at a time, one contraction at a time, one feeding at a time, one diaper change at a time, one night at a time, one situation at a time.

2) The most important thing is to try and RELAX.

3) Ask for help when I need it.

4) Learn to let go - of the often insensitive unsolicited advice, of little mistakes I make or others make, of trying to be perfect.

Ahhhhhhhh... deep breath.

Preggers knows how to party

LOVE this picture. Want it for the baby's room. Not enough wall space left! :(

The preparations continue...

After tomorrow I will have only ONE WEEK OF WORK TO GO! I am pretty darn thrilled about this. It's not that I feel awful being at work, but I am finding that my "patients patience" (ha!) wears thin very quickly, especially in the afternoons. I just don't have the mental energy to be perky and nice all day anymore.

I also feel pretty tired physically now at the end of a shift even if I've only worked for half a day. I work as a receptionist but I have to get up and walk around quite often, and lugging my body around has become more and more exhausting.

I will definitely miss my coworkers. It feels surreal that I'll be done so soon and I won't be with these people all day, every day anymore! I think I might feel a little lonely for awhile. But then when the baby comes I'm sure I won't bother to think about work anymore :)

Luke and I finished up some more baby shopping this past week. It was a relief to finally own a bed-side bassinet for the baby as he will be sleeping in our room for the first few months. We also bought a breast pump (TMI?!), a footstool for the nursing chair, a snowsuit to bring our little guy home in, a sweet baby wrap to carry him around in, a baby monitor and ..... CLOTH DIAPERS.

That brings me to my next subject... we have decided we will attempt cloth diapering. We had firmly decided we were going to use disposable diapers because we felt it would be challenging enough with a new baby at home to attempt to do something so time consuming. In our last prenatal class, our instructor went through all the diapering options, and we ended up learning a lot that we didn't know. We found out that it takes 300 years (I think? Or maybe 100? Anyway, it was a lot of years) for one disposable diaper to decompose, and that disposable diapers are full of chemicals less than healthy to be right next to your baby's delicate skin. The most compelling point (sadly) was how much money we'll end up saving if we go with cloth diapering. I don't have exact numbers right now but it was pretty eyebrow-raising, and Luke and I looked at each other in the middle of class and it sort of just seemed to click to us at the same time that we want to try this.

We have decided to go with a local diaper service, as even this is a cheaper option than buying disposable diapers all the time. We will be going with Bear Bottoms, and the cost is $20 a week. Every week they come pick up the bag of dirty diapers and drop off a fresh bag of clean ones. All you have to do is whip the dirty diaper off your baby and stick the diaper in the pail you rent when you sign up. The diapers go in a bag at the end of the week and all you do is stick it on your front porch for pickup - no yucky washing by hand required.

We have to buy our own diaper covers to use with the service's diapers, and we have chosen Thirsties:




How cute are they? Cloth diapering has come a long way from the bulky diapers my mom used! It also feels good to be doing something beneficial for the environment and for our baby.

Anyway, dinner is on and like the pregnant woman I am I NEED TO EAT.

Lest we forget

In Flanders Fields the poppies blow
Between the crosses row on row,
That mark our place; and in the sky
The larks, still bravely singing, fly
Scarce heard amid the guns below.

We are the Dead. Short days ago

We lived, felt dawn, saw sunset glow,

Loved and were loved, and now we lie
In Flanders fields.

Take up our quarrel with the foe:
To you from failing hands we throw
The torch; be yours to hold it high.
If ye break faith with us who die
We shall not sleep, though poppies grow
In Flanders fields.

Taking Care of Baby

I may have posted these awhile ago (can't remember) but Luke and I thought of them again just a few minutes ago and I HAD to post them again! Definitely some important tips on caring for your baby... I dare you to not laugh.