Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Happiness is eating Pancakes

Do you ever stop and realize that you're actually happy? I spend so much time trying to figure out why I'm always unhappy that I forget that if I'm not feeling unhappy, I must be happy. So, I'm sort of realizing that I must be happy. I think happiness has a lot to do with hope. When I feel perpetually upset, anxious and depressed it's because I feel like life isn't really going to work out well after all. I don't think my situation has really changed all that dramatically these days but rather than feeling like this is all for nothing, I'm holding on to hope. Dreams are a good thing. Lately I've been allowing them to grow more, not continually killing them out of fear like I did not too long ago. It's funny how dreams are still just as far away now as they were when I was unhappy, but that now I'm happy because I know dreams are attainable. I don't think it's as simple as a change in perspective... sometimes it's not always that easy. You can't tell a depressed person to snap out of it. All I know is that somehow, for some reason, my perspective HAS changed, and I'm feeling good.

Maybe listening to whimsical, upbeat music helps, which is what I am doing right now, which could be affecting my current mood. Hmmm! Listen to bouncy music. That will be the cure for depression. Right.

Another cure for depression would be me being able to do my freaking taxes, right now. But I can't. I can't find the stupid Taxwiz program that I swear to God was lying around the computer room last week and now it's NOT. I want my refund, goshdarnit. I want my money.

Gotsta go....


betha_boo 10:11 PM  

oh annie. it is april fools day. i feel like i was with you last a.f day....hmmm...

i do miss you, like...a lot.