Worrying .....

I have been worrying quite a bit lately. For some reason I typically go through phases of worry throughout the year. Maybe it's because when I go through a significant amount of stress in one area all other areas in my life are affected, which makes me feel like there is something wrong with everything. I don't know. But I've been significantly stressed out by one major area lately. Ahem.... my job.... ahem. I hate how this worry causes stress and makes me look for negativity in every other area of my life. The worst part is that I can't figure out why I feel stressed out in all areas of my life in the moment. When I stop and think about it I realize that I'm just letting my worry in the one situation get out of control. I wish worry and stress didn't have to affect me this way. Does this only happen to me? Are most people able to compartmentalize their stress into individual life categories? I sort of doubt it. But GEEZ, is it ever confusing.

And THEN my worry makes me feel out of control and crappy about myself, which makes me stress out even more in every situation. For some reason I find it really hard to communicate with people in my life when this happens. I feel like I can't "talk it out" when I'm going through something hard because I feel like once I start venting I won't be able to sort everything out as I'm letting it all out and that everything I vent about will scare people away from me with its negativity. So I hold it all in and then seem awkward and distant. YIKES. I wish I could just fly to BC and stay with my family for 6 weeks. Or 8 weeks. Or more. So to all of my friends out there.... if I've been weird lately, this is why. It is HONESTLY nothing personal. :)

I think tonight I'll sleep in the living room. It will feel like a mini-vacation. I'm not hard to please.... all I need is a slight change of location and I feel like I'm on an actual vacation. Or maybe I'm just used to not going anywhere, ever. Sigh.

Earlier I was watching CSI. Grissom ... what a cool dude. I love him. He's the smartest. Most smart? Smartest? Anyway, in the episode I saw there was a perverted guy guilty of doing weird stuff with his daughter. As this came out in the show I said "Sick son of a bitch!" out loud. Seconds, literally seconds after I said this one of the main characters said exactly the same thing precisely the way I said it. The freakiness of the situation made me say "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" even though no one else was home... I'm telling you, it was PSYCHO!

Anyway, I'm ridiculously tired.... Maybe I'll go set up my "vacation" bed now out in the living room!

Oh, before I end this post........... picture time. We went to a family wedding this past Saturday...

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Here we are, trying to look normal and pose nicely.

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And here we are being the way we usually are. Oh, I love my family!! :)

Shopppppppppppping.....

Today was a good day ... got a lot accomplished at work, and it was nice to be alone for once. One can really work a lot more efficiently alone sometimes. But the real good part came when on my break I went to Jackson Square and bought some stuff from my new FAVOURITE STORE................ SIRENS!!

Yes... I know what you're thinking..... The clothes are cheap quality... whorish girls shop there... there are too many trends taken to a cheesy level. And you are right, except for the fact that if you really look, there is a TON of pretty cute stuff for so, so cheap, like usually less than $20. Cheap is GOOD. At least in my books. If I had books. Anyway, I was quite pleased with my purchases.

Just now I tried a self-portrait photo shoot with Val's camera using the automatic timer. I had a most frustrating time.

Shot #1 - I'm not frustrated with the camera YET. Note the new shirt and new capri/shorts thingies.

Okay, when I took this, it was probably my 8th try and I couldn't get the camera to sit evenly on any surface for the automatic timer. I definitely couldn't get the camera to capture a good image of my new clothes. Note the big fake over-smile and the gleam of frustration in my eyes.

The camera still kept falling over and being frustrating. I gave up and posed with George Michael. And I had to crop a LOT of ceiling out.

Georggiiieeeeeeeee.

For this one the camera was balancing precariously. It really is easier to take pictures with someone else holding the camera. And there are probably less accidental butt-shots.

Anyway, note the new white top.

This time I almost fell over. Plus, it was really hot in my room. Note the big fake smile is starting to wane a little bit.

At this point I had given up BIG TIME. Stupid cameras and their stupid automatic timers and my stupid lack of a tripod.

But, at least I got some cute clothes.

Well, off to work again tomorrow. I wish my life was more interesting. I should make it more interesting. I should do something really crazy.

Claire, I miss you. We could do crazy stuff together. Like take strange pictures outside in the middle of the night. Or ... I don't know.... uhhhh... buy weird furniture from Bibles For Missions. Or get high off of Gravol. Haaaaha...ha....ha....ha.

I should stop typing before I get really weird.... I think I'm tired....