Wednesday, May 11, 2005

divinely inspired gibberish

i found this is my other journal... i wrote it awhile ago but i found it interesting today.

i feel so full, of WORDS and EMOTIONS ... my mind is spinning, no, my spirit is spinning... full of aching full of dreaming full of longing. i want to be a part of this glorious creativity around me but i feel like i need to squeeze through a tiny funnel before i break forth into the brilliance of light and colour and expression and glory HOW CAN I GET THERE? i feel like i might burst... the music in my spirit is too loud to suppress anymore, it's pulling at me teasing me laughing at me tempting me and i want to fly, fly, fly, FLY, FLY... but i can't on my own i can't on my own what can i do with this fire? there's a fire burning somewhere and i know it grows if i let it, i want to let it but what if it gets too big to keep contained? i need out, i need to soar, to be free, to see GLORY. somewhere in the heat of the fire there is a tugging sadness a sadness so deep so endless i feel jesus, i see jesus i can feel a deep sorrow but it's not depression it's not anxiety it's so pure it's almost beautiful i want to focus in on it, i can feel the truth in it i can feel HIM in it something within me but worlds away relates to this sorrow i want to jump in jump in i can tell that this is where LIFE is. let the tears flow let me see jesus, let me see him, please let me feel him please draw me in under under under i want to stare you in the face i want to be drawn into the sorrow i don't know what it is but i think that with the sorrow comes a profound joy and a profound freedom will you grab my hand, will you free me? will you take me with you, take me into you? i just want the purest form of you, nothing at all in the way, something entirely supernatural entirely REAL... it's more than i can bear. you are too much in your purest form... i can't handle the flood because when i see you i am flooded and every emotion fights to be expressed all at once and i literally physically cannot handle it please grant me strength please don't stop.


betha_boo 8:15 PM  

awww...thats pretty. Oh, I am back now. I did not see Moriah there at all. it was annoying. I am in a pissy sucks. Yeah, I am moving home on monday...but i will be at church tomorrow. I plan on visiting before the wedding, it would be cool. I so have nothing to wear to it. grrr....