winter winter winter

freezing cold, yes, i am freezing cold.

but it's OK because it's beautiful outside, with all the snow and all that. rumour has it that the temp. will be reaching 13 this week. i hate that huge contrast. if it's winter, keep it at frigging winter until it's frigging spring. that's what i think.

last night i went to a hockey game.... fun times. only thing is, are all guys the same? like, are they literally and completely ALL the same? not to sound like a fool... but all the good looking guys i've EVER encountered have been totally the same. they think that in order for a girl to be hot, she has to have long blonde hair, a small waist, big boobs and a round a$$. oh, and she has to have a certain "i am so incredibly SEXY" attitude... to the point where she seems reckless enough to be up for ANYTHING. is that REALLY the best they can come up with in terms of defining what attractiveness is? if so.... it's just not worth it to me! i mean, if what i just described is the EPITOME of beauty to the majority of males, do i really want to enter in to that world as an inadequate thin-ish brown-haired girl? if blonde hair and big boobs are most guys' ideal, and i do not have those things, what is the freaking point? i may as well never even hope for a guy who sees things differently. if he is good looking, (which is important to me, by the way, but my definition of beauty allows for individuality in different guys) he will always be wishing that i were like those other HOT girls. or, he just won't choose me to begin with.... as has happened to me many times before... he will just pass me by and look to the nearest HOT girl with the bleached hair, too-tanned skin and shapely ass. dammit. i say all this because at the hockey game i went to the place was full of those guys and those girls... checking each other out constantly. look, i'm not opposed to flirtation and sexiness, at ALL. in fact, i like the whole "checking each other out" thing. it's healthy. i am mostly opposed to the idea that i am not one of those very specific blonde girls, therefore i am not worthy! i can't freaking count the number of times i've been out with various blonde friends and i have literally been completely ignored and rudely shoved to the side. the category of "hot" is SO specific, limiting, and SO unfair. it's a flipping meat market out there, people... and i just don't want to be a part of it.

well, now that i'm all riled up and angry... i'm going to uhhhhh... go be bitter somewhere else. later.