Thursday, August 03, 2006

teen angst

There's this guy on my msn list with the nickname "you're so flat the man is going to have to breast feed". I really don't know what it means. I'm sure it's some sexual, female-degrading comment but I still can't quite figure it out. I just asked him on msn... and he is not answering me. I don't even know this guy... I've never met him. I found his email address in my stepsister's book on a piece of paper. I was curious, so I added him to my msn list... weird? Maybe.... and it turns out she met him at a bar, which we all discovered shortly after when he asked me why I added him. OHHHH WAIT, i get it..... i get it. i get the breast feeding thing. ok. dang, i feel like an idiot.......

What's with guys?

For that matter, what's with people? Most of the time I really enjoy my job... I find that I do really well and that I can use my skills. Occasionally though, the people who come through the office are just..........miserable. They treat us like garbage, they act suspicious, they get defensive at the drop of a hat. It drives me crazy. It's unbelievable how rude grown, mature adults can be. For example, every time a patient comes to our office for an appointment, they have to fill out a very SHORT form, updating us on their medical condition. It's honestly the shortest form you've ever seen in your life, and it is for THEIR BENEFIT. I cannot count how many times people whine and complain about having to fill it out yet AGAIN. "You mean I have to fill this out AGAIN? I filled it out last time. You're seriously going to make me fill it out again?" ... SIGH.... huff, huff, huff. Glare, mutter, glare. Scowl...... and they're done. All I can really do is just roll my eyes.... I'M not allowed to be rude. Honestly though, what could be less complicated than a tiny form that ends up making their visit to the doctor easier?

I'm discovering that my friends are rapidly disappearing. By that I mean that my friends are becoming "couples". They're all marrying off. Have you ever noticed that newlyweds stop behaving as individuals and start acting like a unit of 2 people? I'm sure it's normal for the beginning of a marriage... but geez, I'm losing my friends. It's just not the same anymore.
Along those lines..... I'm beginning to wonder about my situation. Am I being way too discriminating? Is there something the matter with me? Am I too shy? It seems so easy for other people to just date and find someone they are compatible with. For me... it seems so.... impossible. I can't find another word for it. The guys I have actually been interested in want nothing to do with me... and the guys I can't stand won't leave me alone (Actually, that's a bit of a stretch, but I'm exaggerating for the sake of making a point). I really don't get it. Maybe my insecurity is disguising itself as snobbery or conceit, pushing all potential guys away. I really don't know. Maybe I am just undateable? Hmmm. Maybe one day it will work out and everything will make sense. Until then I'll just watch my single friends slowly dwindling away as my pathetic loneliness increases.

Woahhhhhh, teen angst!

I think I will write a melodramatic, dark, teen-angsty haiku to express my sorrows....

in darkness i sit
single, and without a man
hope of marriage, absent.

I should definitely publish some of my work, don't you think? I mean, I could make so much money.

I love you all.


notorphanannie 8:08 PM  

sh%t, I just realized that my haiku is wrong... yes, i know..... 6 syllables in the 3rd line... shutup.

yes, and i do realize that haikus are poems about NATURE.... shutup!

The Ken 6:47 AM  

Hey Annie, I'm catching up on reading friends' blogs and I thought I'd comment on yours.

First up, pretty sweet haiku, even though you did sneak in an extra syllable. Maybe "Hope of marriage, not" might work. A bit too Wayne's World, though.

I sympathise, empathise and otherwise relate on the topic of friends pairing off, though. I'm at the point now where two good friends of mine are about to have a baby in a few weeks. It just gets weirder and weirder.

Don't be too downhearted, though. There's no reason you should be left on "the shelf" (Who owns this shelf, I wonder) You've got a lot going for you and I reckon it's more a question of timing than anything else.

I'm 30 next year and it's hard not to compare your life with other. My friends that are about to have the baby - they are the same age as me. They've been married for years and now they're having baby number 1. I'm not even at the "courting" bit yet so it's easy to compare and feel that you're behind. I just have to trust it's God's timing, though, and there's a reason for it.

In other news, I'm visiting Canada for a couple of weeks in September. Are you still in the Toronto area? I'll be in Stratford, Barrie and Toronto. It'd be good to see you if you were around.

notorphanannie 9:29 PM  

yeah yeah, i knew someone would catch my haiky errors immediately.... at least i didn't pull a fast one and simply edit my post.... i decided to swallow my pride and just let it be.

anyway, thanks for the encouragement, i do realize that i am not the only one feeling left out of the "next stage of life". it just feels like i'm the only one once in awhile. it turns out, i'm ok.

what are you going to be up to in canada in september?

The Ken 5:34 AM  

The main thing I'll be doing is going to a wedding in Stratford. My good friend Heidi Lichti is getting married. She was on School 14 with me and we were on the same outreach team as well. In fact, now that I think about it - she even came on a graduate team with John and Carol to my church in Glasgow.

While I'm around, though, I'd like to catch up with as many familiar faces as possible. I'm staying with friends throughout the 2 weeks so no hotel expenses for me.

I've also arranged to go wakeboarding with one friend and windsurfing with another one. I'm really desperate for more outdoors stuff these days. Working at home, sitting at a computer really kills me.

Hey, I'm going to do a 5-day course to be a snowboarding instructor. (ok, on artificial surface though) It looks like I'd be able to start teaching pretty soon then I could get paid for using my board.

So there you go. That's the gist of it. Where abouts are you just now? (I was about to write my guess here but I suddenly thought you might not want the whole blog world knowing. If you'd prefer e-mail, my address is on this page: